Lizzie and Ben, February 2009 “ Ben held my hand, stroked my head and prompted me to breathe and relax my face”

baby Lucy – calm and contented

My waters released with a 'pop' at 1am Thursday morning. My first surge was at around 1:30am. Until this point I had not had any practice surges to my knowledge & identified them at this point only because I didn't know what else they could be! They started at around 10-15 mins apart and within a couple of hours were 5 mins apart. By the time the first midwife arrived (I think around 6am) I was in the birthing pool as the surges had become more intense. Until this point I had laboured calmly on my side on the sofa using relaxation music to help chill out. The pool was very soothing. My surges were very intense; I felt the baby pushing, then the surge itself I felt through my thighs, lower back and the lower part of my abdomen. Each surge gripped me rather like when you are sick, and in the same way, I didn't really find them painful, just intensely uncomfortable. Ben was instrumental in making sure I was relaxed when things got more intense. We had various relaxation tracks playing and the lights dimmed. In between surges I found it easy to stay relaxed and breathe correctly. During the surges Ben held my hand, stroked my head and prompted me to breathe and relax my face. Simply being told to do these things made me do it, and calmed the whole experience.

Lizzie during a surge – slightly miffed that Ben has stopped tending to her and is taking photos instead!

After many suggestions that I empty my bladder, I gave in and went to the toilet. I found that my surges felt more efficient on the toilet, though getting there was very uncomfortable. And at my second trip to the bathroom I felt the baby's head poking out (there was vernix on it). I didn't tell the midwives as I knew they would want me to start actively pushing and I thought that my body wasn't ready for that. I did, however, move into the living room, believing that the surges would continue to be more efficient out of the water. I tried lying on the sofa but couldn't get comfortable because of the pressure in my lower back, the midwives did manage to monitor the baby's heart rate and declared it to be a little slow. They started muttering about progressing & transfer to hospital, I ignored them. I could feel that the baby's head descended during a surge and then disappeared again afterwards. Once the midwives had discovered just how far I had progressed, they were keen for me to start actively pushing. I had been focusing my breathing for a long time already and had been birth breathing during my surges since discovering that the baby's head was crowning. I decided to put more concentrated effort into each surge as I was getting very tired and uncomfortable and was concerned that the baby would be getting tired too. I assumed a kneeling position (as close to toilet sitting I could get, I would have used our downstairs bathroom if it was heated!) and after about 30 mins of intense, directed breathing and bearing down, Lucy Marie came all in one go. One minute just the tip of her head was poking out and then her whole body popped out in a big gush. A midwife passed her to me and she gave a couple of hearty yells, and then just stared at us.

Lucy was born at 12:57pm with an apgar score of 9 and breastfed within 10 mins of birth. Everyone who has met her has commented on what a calm and contented baby she is. I had a 2nd degree tear which meant I had to go to hospital for stitches, so Lucy & I had a trip in an ambulance through the snow. I realised during the birthing phase that I was probably going to tear, but made the choice consciously. I didn't mind going to hospital for myself, the important thing for me was that Lucy was allowed to enter the world calmly and with the minimum of intervention.