Maria, Mike and Livvi’s Home Hypnobirth

March 8, 2013 by · Leave a Comment

To end the week of birth stories, here is Maria and Mike’s birth story;  one of my favourites. A home hypnobirth. They had attended our class and been really quiet during it, obviously listening! After the class I got a glowing thank you and the news that they had decided to have a homebirth. They hadn’t really thought about it as an option before but were now convinced this was right for them. In the classes I take care never to ‘sell’ homebirth, but I do a lot of interactive exercises to increase understanding of the role of oxytocin and environment. About 20% of mums birth at home and 80% at hospital .  I heard nothing more from Maria, and always always wondered how she had got on. The one day 2 years later, she replied to a newsletter I’d sent saying her daughter still benefits from the CD and told me her wonderful story. So here it is. 

Maria, Mike and Livvi’s Home Hypnobirth

livvyriley

Livvi’s Mindful Mamma Home Hypnobirth

By Thursday 7th May I was nearly a week overdue and was starting to panic about not being able to have the homebirth I desperately wanted and thoughts of induction and hospital had started to enter my head.  I felt really upset that I had done everything right, keeping active, walking with the dog every day and still nothing was happening.

Mike was supposed to have been going on a stag weekend on the Friday morning (planned before I was pregnant) and I was so convinced all throughout my pregnancy that my baby was going to come early that we had talked about him going for just a night if I was coping ok with a newborn.  I was so determined I could cope with labour and sure that it would be a really long process that we talked a lot that week and decided that we would see how I was on Friday afternoon and then think about him going just for a night since if labour did start he could be back within a couple of hours and I would probably be in labour for a couple of days with my first baby.

I woke at 7.30am on Friday morning with regular but not painful contractions and knew that something was starting.  I told Mike about the contractions but said I wasn’t sure if it was just another false alarm.  The problem was everyone had always told me you will feel it in your back and I didn’t my contractions were all at the front in my pelvis. We took the dog a long walk and then at 10am Mike went to the pub to meet the lads before they left for the stag party.  He would then make a decision late afternoon whether to join them or not.

By the time Mike left I knew this was it but thought I had a long way to go and I would probably have my baby by Sunday. So I set about some tasks, cleaning the house from top to bottom, taking the Tesco delivery and stocking the cupboards, having a bath and the most ridiculous task – doing my hair and putting on make up! All the time the contractions were getting stronger and I was starting to have to stop what I was doing and focus to get through them. By 1pm I had to stop all tasks and focus on the contractions which seemed to be so close together there was no break.

Mike was still working on his laptop downstairs and I had kept saying I needed him to finish now but by 1.30pm when he still wasn’t done I went downstairs and virtually screamed at him that I needed him to stop and help me now.  I think that was probably the first time Mike thought it was really happening because I had been so focused and my usual self.

This phase was the only bit I really lost some of the control because I felt the contractions were so intense and I allowed some doubt to enter my head as to whether I could do this.  I think this was worsened by the fact that I always thought I would be able to find a comfy position to labour in and stick with it but nothing was comfortable because my pain was so focused on my front.  I had to be upright all the time and ended up moving around loads trying different positions which I feel affected my ability to concentrate and focus.

Mike took control and put some chill out music on and helped me to visualise the Ibiza sunset I has used on the course to calm me through each contraction. He then called the hospital and the midwife and her trainee arrived at home just before 3.00pm.  I had always said throughout my pregnancy that I didn’t want to be examined in labour but I asked the midwife to examine me as I needed to know where I was.  That was the turning point for me getting the control back over my labour as I had feared that given how intense this was so quickly I was not even 1cm and was unsure I could cope.

But she said I was over 5cm and instantly I thought I can bloody do this then! It was like a whole wave of determination came over me.  I got in the bath which eased things for me and the midwives called for the gas and air which in the end arrived too late to be of use.  The hour or so in the bath seemed to pass so quickly but I was in control all of the time.  It must have been funny to look at thought because I was bolt upright like on a high backed chair even though there was nothing behind me because it was so uncomfortable to lie backwards.  When I said that I wanted to push at about 5.30pm the midwife was uncertain and wanted to check but confirmed that I was ready and I was pushing by the time they called for a second midwife needed to deliver the baby.

I remember thinking of the course at that moment and being told to trust your body I had gone 5cm in just over 2 hours which the textbook says couldn’t happen!  I always thought that I would want to push by being upright kneeling forward but that just didn’t work for me.  I kept asking the midwives what to do and for advice but all the time felt totally in control like I was in charge and not them.  My second midwife suggested I tried to push on the toilet which helped just because I felt how to push and let myself do it properly realising that I wasn’t going to poo!  I wasn’t comfortable on the toilet though so after a couple of pushes I tried lying down and pulling my own knees which worked for me.  Once I started pushing I felt so in control because I could feel what was happening with every contraction.  I was really determined that I wasn’t going to waste effort or a contraction and found the physical feeling of having something to push against much easier than just sitting through a contraction. Again the whole thing went so quickly and in no time they said they could see her head.  I was always really scared of this point given what I had read about this being the most painful bit but it wasn’t.  I focused on what the midwives were telling me and gave small pushes and took breaths as they were telling me so as to not tear. When her head came out they told me to rest but I said no I need to keep pushing and ended up pushing her out in one contraction.

My beautiful baby girl was placed on my stomach at 6.38pm on Friday 8th May.  I was just in total awe of her and speechless. I always thought I would be in floods of tears and had cried at every birth I had seen but I just lay looking at her while she grasped my hand.  Mike said later that he thought I had rejected her because I was so unemotional but I think I was just so focused on controlling the situation that it took me a while to come around.  In my head it wasn’t over until the midwives had gone and we were alone with our baby.  It must have looked so odd but I sent Mike to call people and give the dog a quick walk while the midwife gave me a couple of stitches.  By the time he returned I was tucked up in bed breastfeeding and they were getting ready to leave.  By 8pm we were alone at home in our own bed just staring at our beautiful baby girl and that’s when the emotion came for me. I didn’t have to be in control any more, it was all done, the birth had been even better than I had ever imagined and we had made the most beautiful baby in the world.

Having the birth I wanted is the thing I am most proud of in my life and thinking about it now makes me feel stronger and more confident as a person.  I wish I could bottle the feeling!

Whilst I know I achieved the birth I wanted all with did it myself, I know that I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the Mindful Mamma course.  I used to think it was because of what the course had given me but it was actually what the course had brought out that was already inside me.  The course enabled me to release the huge fear I had of childbirth and take control of my own birth experience knowing that I had the inner strength to do it and the confidence to trust in my own body. I didn’t remember the preparation I had done, the music playing or the sunset visualisation being such a huge help to me at the time but some weeks later I played the CD again and remembered so much more about the birth again.  I hadn’t consciously remembered the song Livvi was born to but as soon as it came on burst into tears.

Mike unfortunately never got to go on his stag do but he does have the T-shirt and a beautiful baby girl instead!

Four months after she was born we took Livvi to see her very first Ibiza sunset for herself and I hope that one day it will become her special place too.

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Michael’s birth

March 6, 2013 by · Leave a Comment

We have had several mums who have come on our class and have done HypnoBirthing before but have had a sense of failure as they didn’t have the birth they they expected.  Our focus is very much on allowing birth to take its course, but also being prepared for whichever course it takes.  Birth is a normal natural process the large majority of the time, but sometimes it can take a different course for a multitude of reasons.  Giving a mum the tools to be able to emotionally a mentally prepare for that if it were to happen without creating a fear of it is incredibly important and a skill we’ve learned over the years. We have 9% unplanned caesarean rate, the  national average is around 24%, but we also have a 100% positive feedback, that the techniques they learned made sure that their experience was positive one.

This is Cath’s story of Michael’s birth.  This was Cath’s second baby, Hannah her first baby had been born by caesarean section, Cath was ready to give this birth all she had and prepared very well emotionally and physically.  Although it didn’t go they route they would have chosen,  I remember Cath just gushing with the excitement of Michael’s arrival and her experience which is just as it should be.

Michael’s birth story

10th September 2011.
Nottingham City Hospital.

Friday 9th September.

Cath, Dave and Michael, a hypnobirth that became a caesarean

Cath, Dave and Michael

I suddenly really wanted to eat carby food so got sausage and chips at the chipper and was so hungry could barely wait to get in front door. Managed to make Hannah her lunch and then ate about as much food as I could fit in. I felt completely exhausted and when Hannah went for her nap, I went flat out on the sofa and woke up an hour and a half later. I felt much better for the sleep and lots of food but it is fairly unusual of me to go to sleep without thinking about it especially in the afternoon.

Saturday 10th September.

Woke up to a pop and a gushing feeling at 6:45. Managed to hot foot it round the bed and get to the toilet as quickly as I could. By which point I knew it was my waters.  We left for the hospital just after 8, by which time I had had started having regular contractions.
When we went in to the labour suite, it took a while to get going but we soon had the antibiotics while they were doing the monitoring. This needed doing initially to see where we were at with baby and check all was ok. Unfortunately the only position we could get a trace in was on the bed, anything else would lose the heart beat – even though we tried every possible way. By now I was still losing good bits of waters, and also having stronger contractions. While we were waiting, we thought we would try the ‘kiss’ that is alleged to get contractions moving – it definitely got them moving, so I can highly recommend it.

I used the yoga camel walk and scooping walk and found it really helped, it definitely made a change to the contractions. When they bought the mat down, we put the mindful mamma cd on, and after that I just have memories of being really chilled out and going with the feelings and sensations. That really helped me get into the zone and again , noticed a difference in contractions stepping up as I was relaxing into the cd. I ended up on the mat using the cat poses and lizard as it just felt comfortable and helpful.

We also got the photos out of my special memories, and that definitely made a big difference – sitting looking at them just made my heart feel full. Shortly after that I found that as well as tens I needed to use the golden thread breath which really helped me concentrate on taking the right breaths. I felt quite spacy from the extra breathing and definitely relaxed. It sounds odd probably to most, but I wasn’t bothered – if anything I was enjoying it, which I am sure is why then helped the contractions get stronger again and I found that I needed to hum my way through the out breaths to help – gave me something really great to concentrate on but felt quite meditative under my blanket, with beach noises and nice head strokes.  I had a bath. It was definitely a good thing to do, and I really enjoyed the sensations of the water

Cath's Cat Pose during Labour

Cath’s Cat Pose

And then suddenly I wanted to get out of the bath. I went from feeling really relaxed to just needing to get out but even getting out of the bath was hard. We put the tens machine back on which helped, but somehow it felt different, I definitely didn’t feel relaxed and was becoming aware of it not feeling right.  I didn’t know what position I wanted to be in but settled on being on the mat with the yoga ball to lean on and rock with. It all changed a lot and the tens machine wasn’t helping and I found I just could not breath through the contractions. It felt like something was wrong. In my head, I was saying ‘trust that intuition’ which was something two of my yoga friends had said in the previous few days. It was definitely a different sensation, and instead of being a pleasure to experience the sensations of labour  that somehow I felt familiar with.

I later found out from Dave, that I had dilated really quickly from 3-8 cm – I was 3 at 12pm and was at 8 by 5 so had all been looking good – but then I had got to 8.5 and not moved, and they were starting to get a bit concerned by the fact I had changed from being calm and coping to wild and out of control. I also didn’t know at the time, that when I had got off the bed in a strop, I had lost a large amount of blood, and they were worried about this because even though baby appeared to be well and coping, they couldn’t tell where it had come from.  I’d not had the sensation of pain for the majority of the labour, and it suddenly changed, like a switch. That intuition in my head kept knocking until I thought about it. I had this overwhelming sensation that I needed to call it a day and go for the C-section, that there was no point in waiting for more hours to become more exhausted, that the pain was telling me things were wrong somehow.

There were some emergencies so theatre was backed up. As baby was ok, and I was ok, they were in no rush. They had hoped that it might allow time for me to continue to progress, but they found baby’s position was really awkward and hadn’t come down far enough to allow me to fully dilate. With it being unrushed, they were able to explain everything, and it was a really relaxed and helpful conversation. I definitely felt well looked after and that time was taken.

They put only a very small amount of epidural in so I still had some sensation of contractions, but it meant I was able to have calm moments to sit with Dave and prepare myself mentally for knowing baby was going to be there that day, in less than an hour. We carried on listening to the cd, and I just felt relief that I had tried, given baby the best chance but that I had done all I was able to.

I requested that I was given my antacid before being laid down which made a difference this time and I wasn’t sick. Again, because there was no rush, they were able to take their time in getting me ready. It really was quite an odd sensation while I could feel them move my legs, I had no recognition of pain or cold. I could feel the surgeon on my belly but there was no pain, just pushing and movement.

Dave suddenly noticed the music that was playing was ‘Doctor Doctor’ and commented on it. Lynyrd Skynyrd ‘Freebird’ was playing when she was making the final cuts to deliver baby, which seemed pretty fitting. It made for a bit of a light atmosphere and connection also, having two babies who came to see iron maiden in utero, and now the surgeon playing great music, kind of made the day.

So at 2147, she pulled baby out, and held him up so that Daddy could see he was most definitely a boy. As I was lying waiting for him to arrive in the outside world, I wondered about names, and it popped into my head that I knew what the name would be. As I heard him crying, and Dave told me it was a boy, I knew we had to use the name Michael.  I had him as much skin to skin on my chest as I could expose. It felt like the perfect moment again, eye to eye, him looking at me and having little shouts, but hushing when I talked to him, like he knew me. The same moment of excitement when Dave told me what we had, and we both cried a lot, tears of pure joy, and that feeling of exploding heart happiness.

We also had a good try to get breast feeding going – Michael was sucking really well from the moment he came out, and nearly took the nurses’ finger off. He wanted to go straight on to me so it made life a lot easier when we got up to the ward. We had some lovely skin to skin and again, as we rode through the corridors, I just felt amazing that I had my baby with me

It could not have been a more wonderful experience. Admittedly, it would have been preferable to have the delivery   I was trying for – but as labouring experiences go, I feel like it was as I wanted it to be.

The experience of labour was perfect. The things we learned on the mindful mamma course, stood me in such good stead – the cd not only gave me a fabulously relaxed pregnancy but also allowed me to enter into the labouring experience in such a relaxed way and until he turned himself, I was managing so well and so calmly, it was the empowering, emotional, perfect feeling that I knew it could be – which is also how I knew when things had changed.

All the tips and postures I have been using in yoga were great for helping me keep mobile and find that comfortable and relaxed position. Each of the ‘props’ we took, helped improve my contractions, and I can’t recommend the experience more highly.

As it turned out, the surgeon felt there was no way he was going to come out or move down because he was head back again, and that was why he had not been coming down. The consultants suggested that it was related to the shape of my pelvic bone, that baby got into a certain point and could not move into the right position – how true that is I don’t know.

I had no awareness of anything that was going on at the time, they were fully respectful of what I wanted as far as they safely could be – but at no point was I offered any pain relief, or told any information I didn’t want to know. One of the doctors later commented on how detailed and organised my birth plans were – like it was a really positive thing – which it was! I felt totally looked after, that I was treated like an individual and with respect. They just seemed interested in the plan, not at all judgemental and really, really flexible. Again, the information we gathered on the Mindful Mamma course gave us all the tools we needed and gave us the confidence to ask for it.

The real star of the show – was Dave. Not just on the day, but for the last 9 months. He asked the right questions when we visited the hospital, he remembered several things I had wanted to know but then forgot to ask on the day!  It was so freeing during the labour just to be under a blanket and focusing on my baby, while things I needed were sorted out and given to me.Once again, he showed his true strength, and for the millionth time, I wonder how I managed to find that person who could be that strong and supportive and could come through for me in all the moments of my life that have needed that support. I know that I could not have imagined a more amazing partner for me – or father for our children and I feel blessed every single day.

So many people also helped and supported us throughout the pregnancy, I feel so lucky.

 

 

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How long should a hypnobirthing course be?

February 13, 2013 by · Leave a Comment

How long should a hypnobirthing course be?

By Sophie Fletcher, Clinical Hypnotherapist and Doula

hypnobirhting classes mindful mamma There has long been a debate on the web about hypnobirthing – how many classes and over what period of time you should attend. I’ve taught several different methods, including Mongan and Leclaire methods, Mongan teaches over a 5 sessions, LeClaire a day, and others over a weekend.

Having taught all these methods if I’m honest I’ve seen absolutely no difference in outcomes however many sessions and over which amount of time.  I’m very careful about recording my outcomes as well.   There is no evidence at all to show that a class over 5 sessions is better than a day or a weekend; when I stopped teaching the same course over a weekend and spread it over the 5 sessions I had the same outcomes.  In fact many women would only really start focussing on the birth quite late in their pregnancy, and it wasn’t uncommon for someone to go into labour before the class had finished if they were doing it over 5 weeks. Now that I teach a day class I get people attending the class the week before they are due and go on to have a great birth experience.  It can be a lightbulb moment for women and they can change their thoughts about birth,in a way that will impact positively on their experience, in less than an hour sometimes.

When we founded Mindful Mamma the aim was to create a class, which was effective, short and affordable.   You can read about our ethos here. Both Mia and myself have had years of experience as hypnobirthing practitioners, Mia is also a clinical psychologist and I’m a hypnotherapist.  The shortest we could condense, what we considered, the requisite learning into was 6 hours.

Going to a class taught by experienced practitioners, either trained in psychological techniques or as Midwives or NCT teachers makes an enormous difference.  I am constantly blown away by feedback from clients who say that their practitioner moved them and their partner forward preparing for the birth in ways they couldn’t have imagined.  I think that skilled practitioner is able to do this quickly even in a group situation.

The secret in a good hypnobirth is not coming back each week, the secret is taking responsibility for what you have learned and applying it yourself by practicing every day.  When I used to teach over 5 weeks I found that many women didn’t always practice everyday, they waited until the next session and weren’t taking ownership of what they were learning. In fact the person that taught me HypnoBirthing was ruthless and would threaten to throw people of the course saying “you’re wasting your money, your time, my time and taking up a place of a couple that really want to do this”.

So why and how can you learn effectively in a short space of time?

 Pavlov’s dog the earliest experiment in body conditioning is an example of how simple it is. The researchers would play a metronome and feed a dog, until that dog would salivate at hearing the metronome even if the food wasn’t there. If you are taught simple easy to use techniques you can confidently do this at home. For example burning lavender each time you listen to your relaxation mp3, means that after doing this regularly your body will relax just to the smell of lavender without the mp3 even being on.  We even embed direction on using the techniques into the mp3 we give out in the class so that when you listen to it, you are learning the techniques unconsciously as well as consciously.

You can continue to learn after the class as well; we have a book list written by mums for mums that will teach you about birth in a positive way.  Again you make the choice to pick up or read a book on that list.  Reading it yourself is important. If I were to read the outline the book or read excerpts in a class for you, it would not necessarily have the same impact, and the unconscious process that you experience would be different.

As an experienced hypnotherapist I know that I can make great changes in my clients whether it’s anxiety, phobias, or confidence by teaching them to take ownership of the changes they wish to see.   I always teach them self-hypnosis and other cognitive exercises, as I know that being an active participant is the greatest tool in change and achieving what you’ve chosen to achieve.  As a hypnotherapist I rarely see a client for longer than 4 sessions (four hours) and I like to inspire change from within them rather than my clients being dependent on me to do it with them or for them.

Whether you do 5 sessions, over a weekend or a day, the emphasis should be on practice and simplicity. You should feel confident enough to adapt those techniques because you understand the basics of how they work. In this way I know that Mindful Mamma is empowering women and their birthing partners to take responsibility and to make their own choices.  How do I know? Because of the feedback I get from them.

Occasionally there is someone on the class that I think would benefit from longer contact time, but they have an option to come and see me privately which some do, but for no more than a couple of sessions.   Personally I feel that the option of doing a class, then further work on a private basis if I needed it is a great one and means that someone can engage as much or as little with it as they wish.

So if you are looking for a class and it includes the following then it sounds about right, irrespective of length.

Any course should be long enough to include the following

  • How your hormones respond to external environments, (people and places), and internal environments (thoughts)
  • Understanding choice and confident questioning
  • How your birthing partner can support you using hypnosis
  • The techniques themselves
  • A hypnosis fear release

Happy hypnobirthing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: birth, hypnobirthing · Tagged With: ,

I’ve done hypnosis for birth. Will I know I’m in Labour?

April 30, 2012 by · 1 Comment
I've done hypnobirthing, will I know I'm in labour?

Hypnobirthing can deceive midwives into thinking you're not in labour.

When teaching classes using hypnosis techniques, I often come across people who are sometimes worried about not knowing they are in labour and not getting to the hospital in time.Many women who do the Mindful Mamma class just don’t experience the type of pain or drama that you associate with labour you see on TV.

I always reassure clients that they will know when they are in labour, and baby is on their way, to trust in their instinct even if they are only experiencing a pressure or tightenings.  Usually this is why hypnobirths are so quick, because mums can experience tightening or pressure, or nothing at all, in early labour, becoming more aware of labour nearing completion as the tightening or pressure becomes more intense.   A colleague of mine who had done hypnobirthing once talked about a client who took herself into hospital saying she needed an enema, she was found to be 10 cms dilated. Another client of mine just felt a little out of sorts and for some reason wanted to call her midwife, who told her she was 6 cm dilated and in established labour. These women just ‘knew’, without even consciously realising.  My personal experience was being put on a monitor to measure my contractions, which confused the midwives even more because the reading didn’t match my responses. The machine must have been broken! I think it even got a kick from one midwife.

While mums may know they are in labour others around them may not.   It’s often I hear mums say that the midwife thought they were a long way off only for dad to spot the head emerging.   I often hear of  midwives telling the mums to stay on the phone while they have a contraction to assess how much pain they are in, but usually if you tell them you’ve done hypnobirthing she says “come in quick!”, because  a midwife familiar with it will know that presentation can be different. In the 6 years I’ve been teaching, as far as I know, I have never had a mum turned away from a unit told she was not in labour, but last week this happened, twice to the same mum, and her little girl was born into her dads arms on the floor of their hall.   Her body took over and she didn’t even know that she was in the ‘pushing stage’ until baby’s head was emerging. Luckily all was well, they have a beautiful little girl, and an incredibly proud dad who has an amazing story to tell his daughter.

This mum knew she was in labour, which is why she went to the unit.  She should never have been sent home.  But what do you do if you are worried about the midwives not believing you are in labour or not getting to the hospital in time if you are planning a hospital birth?

  • Trust in your instinct, if they are turning you away based on observing you through your surges/pressure/tightenings, tell them you have done hypnobirthing, or are using hypnosis for birth and have learned specific techniques to help with labour.   If you are worried ask your practitioner for a small factsheet or letter to give to the midwife on how hypnobirthing mums may present differently.  You have the option to request a vaginal examination at that point if your instinct is that you are baby will be here soon but they want to send you home.
  • If you are sent home you have the choice to call your community midwife.  I have known mums to go home and call the midwife in the community saying that they are comfortable, they don’t want to move again and aren’t going to go back into the hospital, very often mum will feel instinctively that she hasn’t got time to go back into hospital.  This is known as an unplanned home birth and legally they have to attend you and come to your home. “

Hi, I had an unplanned homebirth! I went to the hospital, but they sent me home without examining me! When I got home I knew that I was close to having the baby so I rang the community midwife team based at our local childrens centre. They sent a midwife out to me straight away, and when she found that I was fully dilated she called them back to ask for another midwife. As you can image this wasn’t planned for and nothing was prepared for a home birth delivery! All went well. Midwives were fab and stayed for about an hour afterwards to make sure I was ok. All in all a positive experience! 

  •  Have a planned homebirth.  Home birth is very safe for low risk mums, the midwife is much more able to watch your progress by observation over a longer period of time and you don’t have the worry of travelling backwards and forwards between home and hospital.
  • When practicing your self-hypnosis, breathing or relaxation imagine a period of time that you want to know you’re in labour. It may be 3 hours before baby is born, or 4 or 6.  Perhaps write yourself an affirmation “My body will let me know that my baby is on their way 3 hours before they are born”.
  • Think about hiring a Doula. A doula will be with you at home, or when you leave for hospital. They will know you’ve done hypnosis for birth a act as your advocate either getting you to hospital or calling the midwife to your home at the right time.
  • Rest assured that this is a very unusual thing to happen, tune into your instinct, your body and your baby. Trust that you know what is happening more than anyone else around you and that this just goes to show how powerful the mind can be. At the end of the day these stories are a wonderful endorsement that hypnobirthing works.
Filed Under: birth, confidence, Doula, hypnobirthing · Tagged With: , ,

Beginner’s Guide to a Confident Birth

January 13, 2012 by · Leave a Comment

Birthing Confidently

By Sophie Fletcher, Mindful Mamma

 

Sophie Fletcher is a founding member of Mindful Mamma, Doula, Clinical Hypnotherapist and specialist advisor for the National Council for Hypnotherapy on Pregnancy and birth.  Her book “The Mindful Mamma Hypnobirthing Book” will be published by Vermillion in 2014. Classes are run across the UK, it’s a one day class to hypnosis and mindfulness for birth. Sophie also does private classes for couple in London and the East Midlands. www.mindfulmamma.co.uk, www.sophiefletcher.co.uk, sophie@mindfulmamma.co.uk

 

A friend this week asked if I could signpost them to some articles that could help some people they knew feel a little less afraid of birth.   So I searched all my resources for an appropriate article, something that was an overview and that inspired confidence. Importantly something that made them think, “yes I can do this and it’s going to be ok, actually better than ok!”.

So I searched, and I couldn’t believe it. A simple comprehensive blog entry, that was an overview or that focused on building confidence totally eluded me. Don’t get me wrong, there are hundreds of fantastic blogs on normal birth, hypnobirthing, home birth, confident birth but they’re a patchwork quilt of specific articles about one tiny part of birth.

If I were considering a normal birth that made me think about the birth with confidence, and helped me to think that it could be different and better than I had imagined, with some basic resources to get me started,  I would be unlikely to stumble upon it.  I would just feel overwhelmed with all the information.

Seasoned bloggers and natural birth advocates know where to look, but to a mum just beginning her journey who is frightened or apprehensive, and just come across the term normal birth,  it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. A haystack that is stuffed full of comments and threads from pregnancy forums, compounding most fears about birth.

So for my Mindful Mamma clients and others who are interested I thought I’d write a condensed resource, a beginner’s guide to normal birth and a springboard into the vast network of information on the internet about how birth can be powerful and amazing.

There are some bullet points to get you thinking, a couple of videos that show you what you can do, and links to blogs and birth stories of mothers that have done it.

  1. Your body is designed to birth, you CAN do it and do it well.  Women birth every moment all over the world about 49,000 babies are born every day and the large majority of those babies are born healthy and well.
  2. You have choice every step of the way, you can change your midwife, you can choose any hospital you wish, you can choose a homebirth, you can have as many birthing partners as you wish, you can choose to have a vaginal examination or you can choose not to have a vaginal examination, you can choose to have more time, you can choose the birth you want.
  3. Birth is not the worst pain ever, but fear of pain can make it worse. Some women say they don’t experience pain, others do and find it very intense.   I broke my elbow a few years back it was awful, it was constant and it lasted for weeks. If you are contracting over a period of 8 hours 4 mins apart you are perhaps only having contractions for 2 hours.  The trick is to remain focused and do a class that teaches you great coping strategies.  Many second time mums find it easier, not because their physiology has changed or they ‘know how to do it’, it’s because they lose the fear and they know that they can do it.  It’s amazing what we can do when we are in the right mind set.
  4. Stop watching anything like One Born Every Minute, I find that programme incredibly upsetting sometimes, and find it difficult to get rid of some of those images in my head.  I can’t imagine watching it a few weeks before I’m due to deliver.
  5. Understand the truth about any fears you have during pregnancy, concerns about a big baby, concerns about tearing, or being out of control.  Do some research so you can really understand how your body works and take preventative measures or do some good reading. Odds are that you’ll find research that contradicts common pregnancy myths and  you’ll feel more confident.
  6. Learn about how your hormones work, and what your body is designed to do.  You’ll learn that the more you let go of your fear, the easier it is to focus and to be in control of your birth.
  7. Do a good class, hypnosis for birth or yoga or even one of our Mindful Mamma classes.   This will build your confidence and help you to see birth in a different way to how it’s generally portrayed in western society, a medial event and helping you stay in control. Even some confidence building Mp3s will help.
  8. Don’t always believe what you are told, if you don’t want what you are offered there is always an alternative. It’s up to you to ask.
  9. A cliche I know, but listen to your instincts. We are animals at the end of the day. Animals don’t come with manuals, they instinctively know how to birth.
  10. Focus on your baby, often forgotten, this is baby’s journey and your journey into motherhood.  It’s a labour a love, bringing your baby into the world and into your arms.  A good friend recently who is mother to two young boys said “there is too much focus on the birth, when becoming a mother is so much more”.

Links for Normal Birth

  • If you are worried about having a big baby visit this Big Babies myth busting website.
  • If you are worried about malposition visit this site Spinning Babies which is a great resource.
  • Essential reading. I would urge every mum-to-be to read this. Learn the truth about pain during labour, this article Ecstatic Birth, by Dr Sarah J Buckley is a must and helps you understand what your body is doing.
  • This site has been going for years and hasn’t changed either!  It’s called Home Birth UK but is a superb resource for all things around natural birth. I refer all my clients to this site.

Favourite blogs on normal birth

  • This blog, The Midwife Thinking Blog written by a midwife in Australia, gives you great insight into common interventions and why they are not always necessary.
  • Milli Hill is a doula and founder of the positive birth movement. Her blog The Mule is a great insight into normal birth within the UK.

Favourite articles on normal birth

  • These are articles around specific fears linked to birth that often crop up in classes or common interventions that can change the course of your layout.
  • Tearing or needing an episiotomoy - http://midwifeinfo.com/articles/episiotomy-and-how-to-avoid-it
  • Breaking of waters –  a routine intervention in the UK to speed things up that is important to fully understand http://midwifethinking.com/2010/08/20/in-defence-of-the-amniotic-sac/
  • Learn about what induction actually means and why it may not always be the right option.

Find a group near you to connect with others in a positive way:

The positive birth movement have classes all over the UK run by Midwives, doulas and mums. This a great place to meet others before you have your baby and to become more informed.

 

Two videos of normal birth

 

Please feel free to add your blog or any other resources that I have missed in the comments section.  Or even some reassuring comments for first time mums who may be frightened of birth. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: birth, confidence, hypnobirthing, pregnancy · Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Make Birth Your Own.

October 4, 2011 by · 1 Comment

Recently a mother who had been on one of our Mindful Mamma hypnobirthing classes gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, without pain relief in a major regional hospital.She had a wonderful experience, and even when ventouse was needed she continued to use the techniques she had learned in the class, relying on her body’s natural endorphins rather than having artificial pain relief.

I had quite a few conversations with this particular mother before her daughter was born, and I was struck by the way in which she really took on board the information she had learned in the class and made it into her own support system for birth.She was quietly and inherently confident in her abilities to birth, practiced regularly, and translated what she had learned in the class into pictures and images that would remind her of her purpose during the birth. In other words, she put the work in.

The midwives commented on how good her birth plan was, and she built a lovely, supportive relationship with the midwifery team in the hospital.

I always say everyone is different and every birth is different. In our class we teach some fundamental principles about how your thoughts can affect your physical response during birth, and some very simple but effective hypnosis techniques, but we don’t prescribe how your birth should be. It doesn’t matter whether you chose to have a hospital or a home birth, whether you chose to have the baby rubbed down first or put straight onto your chest, whether you chose to have a lotus birth or not. It all comes down to feeling secure and safe, having all the information and being able to make a choice. If you baulk at the idea of a lotus birth, then don’t have one, other people may baulk at the idea of not having one. There is a huge spectrum in terms of what a normal birth could be regarded as; in fact One World Birth only yesterday published a video that questioned what ‘normal’ birth was.Denis Walsh, Professor of Midwifery in Nottingham, called it an optimal birth experience, and a physiological birth, which is absolutely the same philosophy that I would agree with.

What is normal for you is right for you.Taking on board a different belief system for birth, that you don’t really feel comfortable with, would defeat the purpose of what hypnobirthing is.For me hypnobirthing isn’t a dogma, its a way of looking at birth differently, teaching you what your body and your hormones are capable of, that you can do things differently, what you could do differently and importantly that you are in control of how you choose to experience your birth. Whatever you choose should be based on your wishes for your birth and your baby. Most of all it gives the confidence to trust your instincts and to bring your baby into the world your way.

Classes like Mindful Mamma, give you the space to pause, to think, to explore and consider how birth could be different and why it may matter to you, how you can work with partner and your midwife, and what alternatives there are to managing your experience comfortably – with techniques, and in a way that is right for you. It’s a springboard, and you can choose to get off, just tentatively jump up and down, or dive in!

I always say to people who have bought the mp3s, great, it’s a start, but doing a class makes an enormous difference and to those who have done the class, fantastic, but now the work begins!

Practice is enormously important; hypnosis is all about conditioning your response to birth and conditioning happens through repetition.Through practice you will also uncover different, and better ways of doing things for you.You may find that it feels better to tweak the suggestions and say them in a different way, you may want to change the breathing slightly, or you may wish to have different images.

One client changed her breathing with a little mantra that went “3,2,1 release release, release’ during each of her contractions, another printed off a picture of a baby on a little surfboard, surfing the wave to look at each time she had a surge.Another had what she called her oxytocin photos laid out on a table.


The message that the mother at the beginning for all other mums was that you have to make it your own and she was absolutely right.This is your baby, your birth, have the confidence and the self-belief to do it your way and practise, practise, practise

Filed Under: birth, hypnobirthing, hypnobirthing nottingham, pregnancy · Tagged With: , ,

The Maternity State We’re In.

January 4, 2011 by · Leave a Comment

I can’t write this New Year blog without mentioning the intense media coverage over Christmas and New Year, not just on the state of maternity care in the UK but also the reporting on homebirth options. I love that fact that the canny press team at The Royal College of Midwives use this typically quiet news time to raise the profile of the plight of maternity services in the UK.

It started with Cathy Warwick the giving this interview on the BBC and followed with headline coverage in the papers.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12070665

Cathy Warwick quite rightly advocates the importance of women being able to make choices about where and how they wish to birth based on unbiased information.However, according to Cathy this isn’t happening and women are being frightened into having hospital births without fully understanding their options.

She says that increasing numbers of midwives are being drawn into the hospital system, not into the communities where they are needed and where they can support normal homebirths. So by default midwives are being herded into the medicalisation of their profession not just the the medicalisation of the women they care for.

Midwives are being trained, but are not finding jobs easily, so although the Government appears to be honoring its pledge to train more midwives there seems to be a discrepancy between the number of midwives being trained and the number of jobs available.I personally know of very good midwives struggling to find work.

This was followed up by an article in the BBC and in the Guardian that examined, in more depth, the reality of the state of maternity services in the UK which reiterates the point I often try to make – that women are unaware of just how safe it is to homebirth if they are low risk.Do women properly weigh up the risks of a homebirth, if they are low risk, with the risks associated with intervention if they go into a hospital?

We know statistically that if you stay at home, you are at a lower risk of intervention.One thing we always say to women in classes is, even if you are going into hospital, stay at home until the last minute.Do not be tempted to go in to early.Trust your instincts.

Homebirth is not the right option for everyone, but when you look psychologically at the impact of the environment on a birthing mother it is without doubt the most appropriate place to birth for the majority of women. Thankfully money is being invested in some hospitals to create a more homely environment and I was recently told excitedly of the new birth rooms, complete with mood lighting, at Epsom and St Helier Hospital in Surrey. However, compare that to the new plans for a “planned caesarean theatre” at another large county hospital, not so far from where I live, and you have to question the consistency of policy supporting investments in maternity services.

In classes I ask mums to become more aware of things in their environment that pose a threat and which can have a negative physical impact on a mother during her birth.Simple things can be unconsciously processed as a threat by a birthing mother, who is more acutely aware and alert to her surroundings.Her threat system is very easily aroused and labour can stall or slow down with the slightest ‘threat’- just seeing the incubator in the room triggers an unconscious train of thought that is related to the baby not being healthy.If you are pregnant just close your eyes for a moment, be aware of walking into a labour room and seeing the incubator in the room.Be very aware of what happens in your body as you see the incubator.In classes women describe feeling a flicker of tension, a physical tightening, which is triggered by that stimulus.

This is one of the reasons why a homebirth is so much more conducive to birth, hospital doesn’t just increase the possibility of a physical intervention it is a psychological intervention.

The debates about maternity care in the media were then usefully followed by a fantastic special on the Today Programme by the artist Sam Taylor-Wood who had two complicated hospital births and then a homebirth. She interviews Sheila Kitzinger amongst others and looks at the history of birth and shift towards more medical birth – nudged into medicalisation by the Peel Report published in 1970 which, although not evidence based, called for women to birth in hospitals.

Sam also looked at a project in Bridgend in Wales where the homebirth rate has risen to 4%.But they had to retrain midwives to support homebirth!It reminded me once of a midwife who said she thought hypnobirthing deskilled her and another community midwife that only had one birth a month but was desperate for more – is there a very real possibility that midwives are actually in danger of being deskilled not by hypnobirthing, doulas, or normal birth advocates, but by the fact that hospital births and intervention are increasing?

Sam talks about her decision with James Naughtie to make it here.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9325000/9325793.stm

There is no doubt that birth is becoming more medicalised, at detriment to mothers and their babies.If you are low risk, examine the evidence, to your research (do you book a holiday without researching destinations and hotels in detail?) read other women’s stories, become aware of what birth really is and what it can be.Become aware of what you want for your baby, how you want your baby to enter the world.

Do not offer up your maternal intuition or your instincts in exchange for what someone else thinks.The first rule of motherhood is not to abdicate that responsibility.

I hope that this year, collectively women in communities everywhere begin to regroup, to begin, as mothers did in Bridgend, to talk about the experience of birth, the magic of birth, how manageable birth actually is and how capable we are of birthing our babies.Perhaps if women started speaking up more, encouraging and supporting other women the tide may begin to turn.

Happy 2011.


 

Filed Under: antenatal class, birth, confidence · Tagged With: , ,