You're in all Blogs Section

I’ve done hypnosis for birth. Will I know I’m in Labour?

Posted on April 30, 2012 by mindfulmama — 1 Comment ↓

I've done hypnobirthing, will I know I'm in labour?

Hypnobirthing can deceive midwives into thinking you're not in labour.

When teaching classes using hypnosis techniques, I often come across people who are sometimes worried about not knowing they are in labour and not getting to the hospital in time.Many women who do the Mindful Mamma class just don’t experience the type of pain or drama that you associate with labour you see on TV.

I always reassure clients that they will know when they are in labour, and baby is on their way, to trust in their instinct even if they are only experiencing a pressure or tightenings. Usually this is why hypnobirths are so quick, because mums can experience tightening or pressure, or nothing at all, in early labour, becoming more aware of labour nearing completion as the tightening or pressure becomes more intense. A colleague of mine who had done hypnobirthing once talked about a client who took herself into hospital saying she needed an enema, she was found to be 10 cms dilated. Another client of mine just felt a little out of sorts and for some reason wanted to call her midwife, who told her she was 6 cm dilated and in established labour. These women just ‘knew’, without even consciously realising. My personal experience was being put on a monitor to measure my contractions, which confused the midwives even more because the reading didn’t match my responses. The machine must have been broken! I think it even got a kick from one midwife.

While mums may know they are in labour others around them may not. It’s often I hear mums say that the midwife thought they were a long way off only for dad to spot the head emerging. I often hear of midwives telling the mums to stay on the phone while they have a contraction to assess how much pain they are in, but usually if you tell them you’ve done hypnobirthing she says “come in quick!”, because a midwife familiar with it will know that presentation can be different. In the 6 years I’ve been teaching, as far as I know, I have never had a mum turned away from a unit told she was not in labour, but last week this happened, twice to the same mum, and her little girl was born into her dads arms on the floor of their hall. Her body took over and she didn’t even know that she was in the ‘pushing stage’ until baby’s head was emerging. Luckily all was well, they have a beautiful little girl, and an incredibly proud dad who has an amazing story to tell his daughter.

This mum knew she was in labour, which is why she went to the unit. She should never have been sent home. But what do you do if you are worried about the midwives not believing you are in labour or not getting to the hospital in time if you are planning a hospital birth?

Trust in your instinct, if they are turning you away based on observing you through your surges/pressure/tightenings, tell them you have done hypnobirthing, or are using hypnosis for birth and have learned specific techniques to help with labour. If you are worried ask your practitioner for a small factsheet or letter to give to the midwife on how hypnobirthing mums may present differently. You have the option to request a vaginal examination at that point if your instinct is that you are baby will be here soon but they want to send you home.
If you are sent home you have the choice to call your community midwife. I have known mums to go home and call the midwife in the community saying that they are comfortable, they don’t want to move again and aren’t going to go back into the hospital, very often mum will feel instinctively that she hasn’t got time to go back into hospital. This is known as an unplanned home birth and legally they have to attend you and come to your home. “

Hi, I had an unplanned homebirth! I went to the hospital, but they sent me home without examining me! When I got home I knew that I was close to having the baby so I rang the community midwife team based at our local childrens centre. They sent a midwife out to me straight away, and when she found that I was fully dilated she called them back to ask for another midwife. As you can image this wasn’t planned for and nothing was prepared for a home birth delivery! All went well. Midwives were fab and stayed for about an hour afterwards to make sure I was ok. All in all a positive experience!

Have a planned homebirth. Home birth is very safe for low risk mums, the midwife is much more able to watch your progress by observation over a longer period of time and you don’t have the worry of travelling backwards and forwards between home and hospital.
When practicing your self-hypnosis, breathing or relaxation imagine a period of time that you want to know you’re in labour. It may be 3 hours before baby is born, or 4 or 6. Perhaps write yourself an affirmation “My body will let me know that my baby is on their way 3 hours before they are born”.
Think about hiring a Doula. A doula will be with you at home, or when you leave for hospital. They will know you’ve done hypnosis for birth a act as your advocate either getting you to hospital or calling the midwife to your home at the right time.
Rest assured that this is a very unusual thing to happen, tune into your instinct, your body and your baby. Trust that you know what is happening more than anyone else around you and that this just goes to show how powerful the mind can be. At the end of the day these stories are a wonderful endorsement that hypnobirthing works.

Tagged with: birth, home birth, hypnobirthing
Posted in birth, confidence, Doula, hypnobirthing

Why the Amish Birth So Well.

Posted on April 24, 2012 by mindfulmama — No Comments ↓

The Amish and Birth

By Sophie Fletcher

I’ve been really interested in how Amish women birth recently as they nearly all birth at home, unless there is a medical risk. This is partly cultural but also because of expense of going into hospital or antenatal care, many Amish don’t have insurance. Interestingly, research shows that despite a higher prevalence of several risk factors for perinatal and infant death among the Amish, neonatal and infant death rates for Geauga Settlement Amish in Ohio have been very similar to the corresponding rates of white children in Ohio State.

Amish women do not tell people apart from their midwife or husband that they are pregnant, it’s said that when they go “they go quick”, probably because they are not tied to due dates. Neither do they have pain relief during labour. They don’t believe in birth control so they often have huge families, sometimes around 10 -12 children. As a result pregnancy and childbirth is a normal part of everyday life, someone is pregnant or in labour all the time and they don’t fear it. Children see this natural process and, as they grow up, girls are not exposed to the international culture of fear and uncertainty around childbirth. Amish children don’t grow up fearing that there is something wrong with their bodies or that they are incapable of a normal birth.

Amish women birth quietly, often just with their husband a birthing mother, and older woman from the community, who often plays a similar role to a Doula. When in labour, very often they continue doing their daily chores around the home until they are unable to any longer. They certainly aren’t preoccupied with imminent birth or early labour itself! Research also shows a link between their psychosocial state, which is typically secure and unstressed, and positive birth outcomes.

Ina May Gaskin works closely with the Amish communities, which are close to her birthing centre, in fact it was from the Amish that she first learned breech birth was possible. Nowadays we know that the Amish have a c-section rate of around 2% similar to the Farm, Ina May Gaskins Community.

What is also interesting is the absence of autism in Amish communities. Amish women are very rarely induced as they don’t have ‘due dates”. Recent research shows that some forms of autism are associated with oxytocin deficiency, and questions are currently being raised about the links to this and the use of artificial oxytocin, syntocinon (Pitocin) or other drugs routinely used in labour. There have been very few studies done, but there are calls to investigate this link further. This article explores that link further.

Here is an extract dictated by a midwife with experience of working in Amish Communities.

Taken from http://www.citypages.com/1999-05-01/feature/the-culture-of-childbirth/

Sarah* is a direct-entry midwife in New York state. She practices in rural dairy country near the Canadian border among the many Amish and Mennonite families living there. Currently, Sarah attends more than three-fourths of the births that take place within these close-knit, insular groups of highly-religious families. In Sarah’s own words, here is what is like to attend an Amish or Mennonite childbirth at the beginning of the new millenium:

“The women I work with give birth at home, almost exclusively. This is a matter of finances, for these folks mostly milk cows, which isn’t a big money maker if you have a small herd and milk without machines, as they do. They do not carry health insurance because of their religious beliefs. Additionally, they feel very suspicious of the medical establishment not honoring their beliefs and treating them with respect. They prefer to remain at home, where they have control over such things as allowing nature to take its course rather than, for instance, trying to save a very premature baby.

When the time comes time for an Amish woman to give birth, there is always an older woman from the church community with [the birthing mother]. The mothers have their husbands present as well, but the whole thing is a big secret to their other kids. The Mennonites usually do tell their other kids. Many of the Mennonites prefer to birth with only their husband present. When a young woman in either of these communities gives birth for the first time, she has never really heard much about what the birth experience is going to be like. I usually tell first-time mothers what to expect and that’s all the education they get, except for what their mothers tell them. The pregnancy is absolutely hidden until the baby is born.

I have never seen one of these women ask for medication for the pain of childbirth. I don’t know why they don’t use pain relief. The one time I asked, the woman acted as if she had never heard of the idea. They just don’t seem to have terrible pain.

These women have between ten and twenty children each. They give birth well into their forties. The Amish seem to have as many babies as a human can, spaced according to how long they can go without having another child, usually one per year or year and a half. I have personally delivered the sixteenth baby of a forty-six-year-old. The Mennonites–some of them–use birth control.

The women almost always give birth in a semi-sitting position.They wait until the baby is about to crown to even lie down. They stay clothed the entire time, but the women have special dresses that they wear at birth where the belly can be exposed so that the baby can be immediately placed on the mother’s belly after birth.

The Amish women in the community who attend births are called “catchers,” but since Amish religion prevents anyone from getting an education past the eighth grade, the catchers are not formally educated, carry no equipment or drugs, and generally do not know how to treat most serious complications, although they are very well-versed in herbal medicines and I have learned a lot from them. Their main role when I am there is taking the baby immediately after birth and wiping it from head to toe with baby oil, binding its belly, and dressing it in a special dress and bonnet. The young brides seem to take great pleasure in sewing the dark blue baby dresses and caps and quilting a baby blanket. They like to get the baby dressed as soon as possible, with his belly bound and feet wrapped, and covered with many blankets.

One thing the Amish believe is that there is no breastmilk at first, and some don’t feed the baby until the next day. Some give the baby things like jello water or watermelon seed tea, which is supposed to be good for preventing jaundice.

For postpartum women, they use sheperd’s purse tea for bleeding. For a month after birth, the new mother has a ‘hired girl’: an Amish neighbor who, for $15 per week, lives there and does all the household chores including cooking, child care, canning, and quilting. Occasionally another one will stop by to help with laundry.

Tagged with: birth, children, Doula, pregnancy
Posted in birth, confidence, hypnobirthing, Mindful Birth, pregnancy

Shall I have a Sweep?

Posted on April 22, 2012 by mindfulmama — No Comments ↓

Membrane Sweep

Shall I have a Sweep?

A membrane sweep is a common form of intervention that is routinely offered in the UK. The NICE (National Institute of Clinical Excellence) guidelines state that every woman should be offered a sweep at 41 weeks. So it is likely that this will be offered to you around then or an appointment booked in at 40 weeks for your sweep at around 41 weeks.

As far as hypnobirthing is concerned this is an intervention, because the philosophy of hypnobirthing is to do nothing as nature will take its course. But there are some things to consider before making your decision. Understanding the benefits and the risks fully can help you make a choice as to whether you have one at 41 weeks or earlier, to delay it until you are nearer term at 42 weeks or to decline it. Importantly you do have a choice.

Research shows that women often go into labour within 2-3 days of having a sweep. The intention of a sweep is to stimulate the release of prostaglandins and oxytocin, both of which can trigger uterine contractions and labour. Prostaglandins can be found in semen and oxytocin is a hormone associate with sex as well as labour, which is why sex is recommended to get things moving!

What happens with a sweep?

During a membrane sweep, your midwife will insert a finger into your vagina and feel for your cervix. She’ll then sweep the cervix to separate the membranes from your cervix. It can be very uncomfortable and you may bleed afterwards.

What are the benefits?

If you are nearing 42 weeks and under pressure for an induction, or just want to get things moving, a sweep can be a good way of getting things started. It can often prevent the need for other more aggressive pharmacological forms of induction, that are associated with something known as a cascade of intervention.

What are the risks?

There is the slight risk that the midwife could accidentally rupture you amniotic sac, which then means your labour may be actively managed and if you don’t go into labour after 48 – 72 hours (depending on your hospital policy) you may need to be induced.

There is also the sense of being disheartened if it doesn’t work. There is also some anecdotal evidence that women who have sweeps have slightly more painful labours.

Natural Alternatives.

The aim of a sweep is to trigger the release of prostaglandins and oxytocin, which stimulate contractions. Fortunately there are other ways of doing this that are more fun and much more comfortable!

Sex (semen contains prostaglandins and sex triggers the release of oxytocin)
Eating spicy food (releases endorphins and oxytocin)
Light touch massage
Stand in a warm shower and teak your nipples until milk drips
Have a go at reflexology or acupuncture
Get your head in the right place, let go of the worry of labour starting in time and it probably will. Our Mp3s can help with that.
Take yourself out of your normal environment and go for a long walk
Clary sage and lavender baths (consult with a local aromatherapist or research the use of clary sage if this is an option for you)

Summary

A sweep may be better closer to 42 weeks than 41 – most women are nearing labour at this point and it is more likely to be effective the closer to going into labour you are.

If you are under pressure for an induction it can be a great way of compromising and getting things moving without the pressure of further interventions. Unlike pharmacological methods of intervention, it is unlikely to trigger the cascade of intervention that you so often hear of associated with an oxytocin drip.

However, if you are true to the hypnobirthing philosophy, remember that this is essentially a compromise and if you deeply trust your baby and your body to birth when they are ready then you can decline and choose to do nothing. In this case you will be offered regular monitoring if you go over 42 weeks to check the function of your placenta and levels of amniotic fluid.

Whatever you choose, it’s your choice – make it an informed one. Try our Decision Tree to help you make a choice.

Tagged with: induction, Membrane sweep, overdue, prolonged pregnancy
Posted in birth, hypnobirthing, Membrane Sweep

Have you had the baby yet?

Posted on April 19, 2012 by mindfulmama — No Comments ↓

Clock watching can slow labour down.

“Have you had the baby yet?”. As much as they love their friends and family this text or call can be one of the biggest irritants to mums-to-be as they go past their due date. Ironically, the worst culprits are often other women who, without thinking, feel they are being attentive to their friends and bombard them with texts, saying “just checking that you’re ok”, “oh so you haven’t had the baby yet”. An acute example is my own mother, who phoned the hospital and was buzzed through by reception to the intercom in my room, during labour, at least twice to ask how I was doing!

Most people automatically send a text round when baby is born; I’ve received numerous texts at 2, 3 or 4 am. So the rule of thumb is if you haven’t received a text then baby hasn’t arrived into the world yet and if baby is on their way, and mum knows, she’s unlikely to want to text you back or chat to you.

Friends and family should fight the urge to call the mum, who may beat the receiving end of dozens of texts from well meaning people. At the same time mum-to-be may be under pressure for induction – the texts or phone calls may become a reminder that she’s over her date.

Mum may think, “I’ll switch my phone off”. But the sound of an answer message can just stir up the excitement even more, because if your phone is switched off everyone who calls assumes that you are in labour.

I know and you may know that you are not at term until you reach 42 weeks, and that the majority of women birth their babies before this date, but very often over their 40 week due date. Only around 3-4% of babies come on their due date.

We also know that any stress or apprehension can stop labour from starting, so it’s incredibly important that mum doesn’t have these reminders everywhere, and that she is able to go, stress free, into labour when she and her baby are ready.

There are several things you can do to minimise this disturbance late in pregnancy.

Don’t tell people your due date. Tell them an approximate time, eg. The end of August, middle of September.
Tell your friends that you will message them straight away when baby is born.
Ask them not to text you, to ask “how you are”, or “if baby has arrived” after your due date but maybe a “I’m nipping to the supermarket, do you want anything” text is fine.
Get some lovely relaxation music to reduce stress at the time when you may be getting anxious. Try the Mindful Mamma Mp3 on itunes.

Tagged with: birth, pregnancy, prolonged pregnancy, time
Posted in birth, confidence, hypnobirthing, Mindful Birth, pregnancy, prolonged pregnancy

Dads, Fear and Birth Choices.

Posted on April 10, 2012 by mindfulmama — 1 Comment ↓

Mindful Mamma Hypnobirthing classes teach how dad can support mum at the birth.

Men and birth

This is a thinking out loud blog about something that has been bothering me since I attended the Paramana Doula training with Michel Odent . The information from the day has settled and has started to trickle down into my practice. As the information took root I found myself questioning one of my firmest beliefs, that if a man was prepared and knew what to expect at the birth he was probably one of the best people so support his partner. However, I found myself returning to Odent’s well-debated view more and more that a man should not be at a birth as he upsets the natural course of events.

Now anyone who knows me and knows the class, knows that I agree and disagree. I think that if the birthing partner is male, he wants to be there, his partner wants to be there and is prepared that he is probably the right person for the job, if he doesn’t want to be there he shouldn’t. Our classes have a big section on building confidence in the partner and his role on the day of the birth and we get great feedback because of this.

Curiously over the past few weeks I’ve been much more alert to fathers and their reactions to birth and their emotions in influencing their partner’s choices around birth. What I’ve sensed has begun to change my view and although I’m not firmly in Odent’s camp, I’m much closer to it.

The first image that really struck me was a clip on One Born Every Minute where the mum had a doula to support her and her husband. And boy I’m glad she did have a doula. The husband was of Turkish origin, and it wasn’t culturally accepted to be in the birth, it’s a woman’s domain and the men stay well away. His discomfort at having to be there seemed apparent, he found it difficult to stay in the room, but thankfully because he had a doula, he was able to leave without feeling he was abandoning his wife. Even at the end as baby was being born, the midwife called him to watch his baby emerging into the world, he declined – three times – before he was virtually dragged from where he stood, near the mother’s head, to watch baby being born.

We know that men have choices at birth too. They can choose not be there, or they can choose to be there and that choice should be respected too. They should be free to make this choice, without influence from mother, midwife or even cultural expectations.

The following week on a class I must have been subconsciously observing male reactions, some obviously felt uncomfortable watching the beautiful hypnobirth we show. Then in an exercise I traditionally get the class to do together, I instinctively separated the men and the women to see how they responded to different environments in labour in relation to oxytocin and adrenaline – the birth hormones. Usually when we do it as a group there is majority oxytocin in the home, and majority adrenaline in hospital, but it’s always a little mixed. The exercise aims to demonstrate where oxytocin, our labour hormone, is naturally switched on, with the familiar and the comfortable. We then teach how to make a hospital environment more oxytocin rich if that’s where you’ve chosen to go.

When I separated the groups I found that at home it was 100% oxytocin in the home for women and nearly all adrenaline for men. The opposite happened in the hospital environment and the car, the men felt safe in control and principally oxytocin rich, whereas the women were adrenaline rich.

This made me feel uncomfortable as although I probably always knew it, the penny really started to drop and I became more consciously aware of how male partners may be influencing where women were birthing as much as the patriarchal medical system was often deciding how.

Despite the fact that they had their partner’s best interests at heart and that they wanted to protect and support their partners, they were governed by fear and their instinct was often to be in the hospital in order to protect. The mother’s instinct is often to be at home. It may also be that the fear of the mother giving birth at home or in the car, meant, quite literally, that their partners, were often driving women into hospital too early. We know that one of the best ways to avoid intervention is not to go into hospital too early.

I too am in the very difficult position of knowing instinctively that I would want to birth at home if I were to have any more children. The decision was taken out of my hands with my first and my second, which was a VBAC at 32 weeks, I chose to be in hospital. But if we were to have a third despite me instinctively wanting a homebirth my choice would again to be to go into hospital, not because I want to, but because I know that my husband would be so consumed with fear that his anxiety would be contagious – so I would compromise.

This week I asked myself “why should I have to compromise?”. As far as I am concerned the best thing for me would be to birth at home. I am the one birthing. And suddenly I felt angry at myself for being subservient to this cultural shift of partners having to be there and frustrated that men seemed to be indirectly pushing their partners into hospital. This quickly turned to softened to sadness that this is an unspoken and uncomfortable situation, often for men and women and I felt real empathy for both. Men don’t want to be there all the time although society suggests that they should be, but is it really better that they are not? Equally if a woman instinctively doesn’t want her partner there, how can she say to the person she loves “I don’t want you there”, if he does want to be there?

Setting aside their judgment and going with the birth as it is can be difficult for some men. Very often they automatically assume their partner is in unmanageable pain and that she has to be rescued from if she makes screams, rants or groans that seem out of character. They may feel edgy, may pace up and down (inside the room rather than outside!), feel at a loose end, try and talk her out of it, glance helplessly at the midwife.

Sometimes if I’m working privately with a clientI’ll show a video of quite a powerful birth where a woman makes noise, facial gestures, is vocal and writhing in the water. Then I say to the dad, “what did you think of that?” their response is, “she’s in so much pain”, it’s then I tell them that it’s an organismic birth. We must learn not to judge and to impose our own fears on how we perceive a partners birth.

So all of this leaves me questioning the shift in my own thinking. I know that there are a great deal of men that will be and have been a real pillar of strength and security at the birth, able to set their own fears aside, recognize that their state of mind can also play a role, learning to be calm, mindful and present. Ultimately I don’t know what I would have done without my husband at the birth, I felt I could totally rely on him on the day.

What can a partner do? Listening to what the mum-to-be instinctively wants to do is so important. Yes, it’s your baby, yes it can be a shared experience, but how she feels will impact the type of birth she has and in turn how it affects your baby. If she feels frightened of going into hospital and you are frightened of being at home, what should a partner do? If the mother feels it’s too early to go to hospital, but you are getting edgy what should you do? Can a partner find a way of facing his own fears and coming to terms with them prior to the birth? What would help him do that? Or should he not be there at all?

Answers mammas! I’d be interested to hear people comments on this.

Tagged with: dads birth
Posted in birth, Dads birth, Mindful Birth

Katie’s Cat

Posted on April 2, 2012 by mindfulmama — No Comments ↓

Sox and her kittens

Yesterday my friend Katie rang to say her cat, Sox, had finally given birth to the kittens we knew she was expecting. Last week we were watching her intently over coffee, her belly swaying in time with her step, noticing that as she lay down in various places in the sun trying to get comfortable she couldn’t lie for long. We had a feel of her belly and you could feel at least 3 kittens in there moving around. We hedged bets on when she would give birth, neither thinking it would be within the next few days.

Suddenly, Sox’s behaviour changed and she was restless, clawing at boxes in the study near where Katie has been making a box for her to nest in. Katie put the box down for Sox and left the study. Tom her youngest had been unwell and having a few sleepless nights, so there had been lots of noise and movement through the night, but in the afternoon just after Katie popped the box down and joined Tom for an afternoon nap, Sox snuggled up in the afternoon quiet in her box in the darkness underneath the desk and gave birth to four kittens. Coming down an hour or so after putting the box out and having a nap Katie found her licking the sac off the kittens.

The study has become a no go area so Sox can feed and nurture her kittens in quiet, undisturbed by the three rowdy children in the house. My children are allowed to go and peek into the box, but not make their presence known and certainly not to touch the kittens at this stage.

We have more in common with Sox in how we birth than we think. One of the prerequisites for a good birth is that the mother is undisturbed, that she feels safe and that her environment supports this. Sox was in the darkness under a desk away from prying eyes and free from people and interruption. She felt comfortable in her nest. Us humans make a joke of our ‘nesting instinct’ but it’s a wonderful reminder of the instinctive birthing mammal within us.

If you compare the expectations of Sox’s birth to your own, you realize that we didn’t know when Sox’s kittens were to be born, we just knew that she’d been getting bigger and slower! There was no due date at all. We simply guessed, we even had no idea when labour started.

When Sox gave birth, she instinctively knew when it was quiet and she wouldn’t be interrupted – when the house was sleeping. This reminds me of a story that someone told me of how she labored really well while her birth attendant was sleeping, and that the gentle reassuring snoring helped her. She knew someone was there, and would be there if she needed them, but at the same time was utterly confident that she wasn’t been watched and would not be interrupted.

Then after the birth, Sox had time to bond with her kittens, us knowing that she may reject them, if the children or we touched them. Her space will be kept quiet and protected for a few weeks at least.

If you compare this gentle, quiet experience to the bright lights of hospital, people chatting away, noise and interruption everywhere then you can begin to understand where we are going wrong. At the end of the day we are animals, with big brains that get in the way of birth. Animals don’t have birth manuals, they just know what to do. Let your brain go to sleep, let your animal instinct wake up and tune into what you want for your birth. It’s probably not so different from what Sox wanted.

Posted in antenatal class, birth, confidence, hypnobirthing, Mindful Birth, pregnant

Birth Place, Quiet Place

Posted on March 23, 2012 by mindfulmama — 2 Comments ↓

Keeping the birth space a safe, quiet place

Silence before Humour

Noise. It’s like a belisha beacon, or a loud game show buzzer jumping out of the screen every time I watch a birth on One Born Every Minute or a birth on television, or even homebirths where people chatting away while mum’s in the pool, I even saw one when a telephone rang just as the mother was birthing her baby. The noise sets my teeth on edge. Instinctively it just feels wrong, I want to “shhhh!” them. Why do people feel the urge to fill that space with chat?

Last weekend I finished my Doula training with Michel Odent and experienced Doula Liliana Hammers. I was mesmerized listening to Liliana’s accounts of how even when awoman shouts out or asks questions, she treats it as rhetorical, just quietly shrugs and smiles with a calm reassurance, not even necessarily answering the question. This does take skill and at one point I realized that Liliana would make a fantastic counsellor. Very often in counselling, clients ask a question as part of their own internal process. Entering into an internal space, with the unspoken support of someone nearby, allows them to connect safely with their emotions and to ask questions of themselves. Asking a question out loud doesn’t always mean that they are asking you for the answer, but seeking that answer from within themselves or even expressing an observation. Silence is often used as a technique to allow someone to become still and to engage with the feelings that arise in that moment, free of judgment.

Why are people so uncomfortable with silence? And why do they feel the need to talk all the time. So often people feel compelled to speak when there is silence and to fill that space with the clutter of words and noise. Very often this is what happens at births, people seem to find it difficult to just sit and to be. Some midwives are chattering away, interrupting the mother, some fathers or birthing partners use humour to break that silence as it feels uncomfortable and humour is an instinctive way to ‘break the ice’. Sometimes there evens seems to be a bit of a social event going on around the mother.

Why not chat away, interrupt, engage the mother with conversation? During the birth a mother goes into an internal space, it’s a different state of being than she is in every day life. Naturally, she quietens down her chattering mind, her neo-cortex, the same part of the brain that shuts down as you drift off to sleep at night. Michel Odent told me he called it “falling into sleep and falling into labour”. To allow the right space to birth is to allow the mother the same space as she falls asleep in every night. Secure, dark, unobserved, protected and quiet. If someone were chattering away to you, or standing over watching you while you were trying to get to sleep it would be difficult wouldn’t it!

Very often midwives used to knit so that they could just be in the room, occupied with something that allowed them to be present without making their presence felt. This strong, calm, non-judgmental, quiet reassurance helped to hold the mother in that space, without the need for interruption.

So when it’s silent be silent too. If the mother makes noise, or asks questions that seem irrational and unlike her, don’t always feel like you have to reply or even give words of reassurance. Bite your tongue, be strong, present and calm. Consider that nothing needs fixing, everything is fine and that by wading in with words you are disrupting something that needs to be uninterrupted and undisturbed . Sometimes that quiet, calm presence, and that reassuring shrug and smile are all that’s needed.

Tagged with: birth, Doula, quiet
Posted in birth, confidence, Doula, mindfulness

Why the Fuss About Birth?

Posted on February 28, 2012 by mindfulmama — No Comments ↓

Babies need to be water with love and patience.

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept is as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

Eckhart Tolle

Recently I was reminded by a friend about the bigger picture. She said birth is just a small part of the journey we experience as pregnant women. The much bigger part of the experience is what comes after – motherhood. She wondered why women are so focused on the actual birth and suggested that this preoccupation with birth prevents a woman from wholly preparing to be a mother.

There is no doubt that the focus has shifted from having a baby, and the baby themselves, to how the women are going to manage the birth, get the right pushchair, finish the nursery, perhaps moving house (surprisingly common!) or how long their maternity leave is going to be. In our Mindful Mamma classes at the beginning we ask everyone to spontaneously write on a note the first word that springs to mind when you think of birth, very often baby isn’t in the mix, instead words like pain, control, blood, long and hard work float to the surface from fears harbored in the unconscious.

But the truth of it is that from conception to birth to motherhood is a life creating, life changing, daunting, challenging and absobloodylutely incredible journey. Birth is just a moment, an intense moment, of a period in your life that will bring you highs and lows, tears and laughter, fear and joy. There is nothing more frightening than a baby making their first wobbly steps near your mother-in-law’s granite fireplace and nothing more wonderful than your baby’s chubby arms loosely clasped around your neck as they fall asleep rhythmically breathing into your ear. But we don’t dwell on any of these before they happen, we experience those moments as they happen and enjoy them or manage them skillfully in the moment.

Imagine conception as the planting of a seed, the seed growing beneath the surface nurtured by the soil, out of sight but watched expectantly until it breaks through the surface. The plant continues to grow but from this moment is reliant on the water and sunlight to grow and blossom. Just as this plant needs water and sunlight your baby needs your love, care and gentle compassion to nourish their emotional well-being and growth.

Motherhood can be a wonderful thing and it can also be a mirror of birth in terms of the emotions. There is fear, there is sometimes that sense of losing control, and there is joy, happiness, the worry of not knowing what is the right way and wrong way to do it.

Birth is just the beginning, and just like motherhood you can choose to get on and do it and do it your way, intuitively with love, strength and patience. Your baby’s journey into this world begins at birth, just as your journey into motherhood begins and your partner’s journey into fatherhood begins.

So allow yourself to become aware in this moment of your baby, the core of your being, your connection with each other and how you are moving forward together hand in hand on a new, exciting and eventful journey that will last long after the birth.

Prior to the birth, allow yourself the time to reflect on what type of teacher you want to be, how you want your baby to learn. Being mindful of that responsibility, reflecting and welcoming that role will in turn strengthen and prepare you the birth – the moment that your journey begin and the moment that your flower nudges through the soil and begins to grow into a beautiful blossom cared for and loved by you.

Tagged with: birth, Mindful Birth, time
Posted in antenatal class, birth, confidence, Mindful Birth, mindfulness

Beginner’s Guide to a Confident Birth

Posted on January 13, 2012 by mindfulmama — No Comments ↓

Birthing Confidently

A friend this week asked if I could signpost them to some articles that could help some people they knew feel a little less afraid of birth. So I searched all my resources for an appropriate article, something that was an overview and that inspired confidence. Importantly something that made them think, “yes I can do this and it’s going to be ok, actually better than ok!”.

So I searched, and I couldn’t believe it. A simple comprehensive blog entry, that was an overview or that focused on building confidence totally eluded me. Don’t get me wrong, there are hundreds of fantastic blogs on normal birth, hypnobirthing, home birth, confident birth but they’re a patchwork quilt of specific articles about one tiny part of birth.

If I were considering a normal birth that made me think about the birth with confidence, and helped me to think that it could be different and better than I had imagined, with some basic resources to get me started, I would be unlikely to stumble upon it. I would just feel overwhelmed with all the information.

Seasoned bloggers and natural birth advocates know where to look, but to a mum just beginning her journey who is frightened or apprehensive, and just come across the term normal birth, it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. A haystack that is stuffed full of comments and threads from pregnancy forums, compounding most fears about birth.

So for my clients and others who are interested I thought I’d write a condensed resource, a beginner’s guide to normal birth and a springboard into the vast network of information on the internet about how birth can be powerful and amazing.

There are some bullet points to get you thinking, a couple of videos that show you what you can do, and links to blogs and birth stories of mothers that have done it.

Your body is designed to birth, you CAN do it and do it well. Women birth every moment all over the world about 49,000 babies are born every day and the large majority of those babies are born healthy and well.
You have choice every step of the way, you can change your midwife, you can choose any hospital you wish, you can choose a homebirth, you can have as many birthing partners as you wish, you can choose to have a vaginal examination or you can choose not to have a vaginal examination, you can choose to have more time, you can choose the birth you want.
Birth is not the worst pain ever, but fear of pain can make it worse. Some women say they don’t experience pain, others do and find it very intense. I broke my elbow a few years back it was awful, it was constant and it lasted for weeks. If you are contracting over a period of 8 hours 4 mins apart you are perhaps only having contractions for 2 hours. The trick is to remain focused and do a class that teaches you great coping strategies. Many second time mums find it easier, not because their physiology has changed or they ‘know how to do it’, it’s because they lose the fear and they know that they can do it. It’s amazing what we can do when we are in the right mind set.
Stop watching anything like One Born Every Minute, I find that programme incredibly upsetting sometimes, and find it difficult to get rid of some of those images in my head. I can’t imagine watching it a few weeks before I’m due to deliver.
Understand the truth about any fears you have during pregnancy, concerns about a big baby, concerns about tearing, or being out of control. Do some research so you can really understand how your body works and take preventative measures or do some good reading. Odds are that you’ll find research that contradicts common pregnancy myths and you’ll feel more confident.
Learn about how your hormones work, and what your body is designed to do. You’ll learn that the more you let go of your fear, the easier it is to focus and to be in control of your birth.
Do a good class, hypnosis for birth or yoga or even one of our Mindful Mamma classes. This will build your confidence and help you to see birth in a different way to how it’s generally portrayed in western society, a medial event and helping you stay in control. Even some confidence building Mp3s will help.
Don’t always believe what you are told, if you don’t want what you are offered there is always an alternative. It’s up to you to ask.
A cliche I know, but listen to your instincts. We are animals at the end of the day. Animals don’t come with manuals, they instinctively know how to birth.
Focus on your baby, often forgotten, this is baby’s journey and your journey into motherhood. It’s a labour a love, bringing your baby into the world and into your arms. A good friend recently who is mother to two young boys said “there is too much focus on the birth, when becoming a mother is so much more”.

Links
If you are worried about having a big baby visit this Big Babies myth busting website.
If you are worried about malposition visit this site Spinning Babies which is a great resource.
Essential reading. I would urge every mum-to-be to read this. Learn the truth about pain during labour, this article Ecstatic Birth, by Dr Sarah J Buckley is a must and helps you understand what your body is doing.
This site has been going for years and hasn’t changed either! It’s called Home Birth UK but is a superb resource for all things around natural birth. I refer all my clients to this site.

Favourite Blogs
This blog, The Midwife Thinking Blog written by a midwife in Australia, gives you great insight into common interventions and why they are not always necessary.
Kedi is an NCT teacher and Birthing Companion. Her blog Kedi Talks Birth is a great insight into normal birth within the UK.

Articles
These are articles around specific fears linked to birth that often crop up in classes or common interventions that can change the course of your layout.
Tearing or needing an episiotomoy - http://midwifeinfo.com/articles/episiotomy-and-how-to-avoid-it
Breaking of waters – a routine intervention in the UK to speed things up that is important to fully understand http://midwifethinking.com/2010/08/20/in-defence-of-the-amniotic-sac/
Learn about what induction actually means and why it may not always be the right option.

Two videos of normal birth

Please feel free to add your blog or any other resources that I have missed in the comments section. Or even some reassuring comments for first time mums who may be frightened of birth.

Tagged with: birth, Confidence, hypnobirthing, normal birth, pregnancy
Posted in birth, confidence, hypnobirthing, pregnancy

Birth in your own magical time.

Posted on January 10, 2012 by mindfulmama — No Comments ↓

There is a reason why I say no clocks or watches in the birth room. Focussing on the passing of time can actually slow it down, doesn’t time go faster when you are not fixated on a clock or watch?

Being in a timeless state during birth.

I recently came across the word Kairos, which is an ancient Greek word meaning opportune or supreme moment. The Greeks had two words for time chronos and Kairos. Chronos is about sequential time, but Kairos is time in between time, moments when we are displaced from time as we know it and when something special can happen, something out of the ordinary.

It struck me that this is how it is at birth, a time between time when something transcendental happens.

Could we access this place, this space through intentional techniques like hypnosis or meditation, or do we do it naturally? It can be either I think. When working with hypnosis in our classes we do a very deep relaxation, it only lasts about 20 minutes, but inevitably people always assume that it was 5 or 10 minutes. This is what’s known as time distortion; when we are in an altered state like hypnosis it’s as if we tumble out of physical time, and have the opportunity to roam freely in a timeless state. It’s a great experience and is incredibly energizing, it’s as if your inner psyche somehow refocuses its lens on life.

It’s very similar with mindfulness, though they way we access and experience that state can be different. During birth, mindfulness is about being in the moment, being aware of those sensations in the right now, accepting them in that moment, without experiences from the past or expectations of the future leaking into that moment. It’s a state of clarity and of connection with your body and your baby. If you are in the moment during birth, you just experience a sensation and you manage it whether it is pain or anything else. However, if you become afraid of that sensation, projecting things you have read, seen and heard onto that sensation it becomes worse and you can lose your sense of perception.

Using hypnosis during birth can be about accessing a deep state of relaxation but can also be about adapting the current situation through subconscious change, or it can be for disassociation, separating ourselves from things we do not wish to experience, such as pain.

When we are in the moment or deeply relaxed hypnotic state we are not thinking of the past or the future, those are where our fears or apprehensions lie. We are between time. Both meditation and hypnosis correspond with a theta brain state, the state when you brain waves slow down to a rate that is comparable to the stage when you are just slipping into sleep – you know that state, just as you are drifting off.

Being deeply relaxed whether you are using mediation or hypnosis can help your body to do what it does naturally, allowing your muscles to work optimally.

When I teach my classes, I say to couples I believe that whilst sometimes hypnosis can be useful during the birth, for example to get you back in your birthing zone, you can do it perfectly well without. I’ve met enough midwives, watched enough women birthing, and spoken to women who have birthed without hypnosis to know that women automatically enter into an altered state, a theta state during birth. As a hypnotherapist I see people in that state all the time. Some women say it was as if they weren’t actually in their body but were observing what was happening.

The trick is to train yourself to let go of the fear that stops you from being in that moment, and to change how your subconscious reacts to birth. This allows you to automatically switch into a comfortable birthing zone. Hypnosis is a brilliant way of doing this. Preparation is vital, listening to our Mindful Mamma mp3s, going to a class or seeing a hypnotherapist can help you prepare your mind and your body so that when you birth you are able to be in that moment, free of worry or fear and able to experience something extraordinary.

Trust me and trust yourself; what a remarkable gift, to be given access to a space between time, where something magical happens that will bring you one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever receive.

Posted in birth, hypnobirthing, pregnancy

The Amish and Birth

Mindful Mamma

Links to our favourite sites