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Bec’s Birth Story – First Baby Home Birth with Hypnobirthing

Before the birth – preparation

When I first got pregnant, I was surprised to find I wasn’t feeling nervous about birth at all; that it was just part of the rite of passage of having a baby.  I thought to myself, if I could keep this level of calm for the birth, everything would go well.  After a lot of research, I decided on a home birth, but I felt that in order to pull it off, I needed to do a lot of mental preparation.

Fairly early on in my pregnancy I had stumbled across a hypnobirthing video – it focused on the mother in a pool, alone, and showed her breathing deeply and calmly at the latter stages of labour.  I was stunned – I wanted to give birth like this!  How had she stayed so calm?  Every time I heard the term “hypnobirthing” from then on, I heard a positive story.

I read Marie Mongan’s and Sophie Fletcher’s hypnobirthing books, downloaded the Mindful Mamma meditation MP3s (which I listened to most nights to help me drift off to sleep), and also booked onto a Mindful Mamma course to get some practical techniques to use.  Not only was the workshop useful for me to learn how to apply the techniques, it also gave my husband Andy something practical and proactive to do during labour.

I also prepared for my birth choice by going to a local home birth group, which increased my confidence in feeling that home birth was the right choice for me, and with support from hypnobirthing, I could do it.

As we approached the birth, Andy and I gathered everything we had learnt together.  I picked out the techniques from the course and books that I liked the best and thought would work and talked them through with Andy.  We started thinking about the birth space – our kitchen – and how to set up a pool in there and make it really relaxing (which meant leaving up the Christmas fairy lights!).  Soon my kitchen was covered in visual and mental aids – mantras, paperwork with tips for labour, scan pictures and pictures to remind me of the meditations I’d covered.

As my due date approached, I was ready but not desperate for my baby to be born.  One of the mantras I’d found during hypnobirthing was “my baby knows the right time to be born” and therefore I trusted him/her to arrive when they were ready.  So instead of worrying or being impatient, I channelled my energy into enjoying maternity leave instead.

The night before I went into labour, I told a close friend that I felt suspicious that night that something would happen – and it did!

Labour

I woke up on the 10^th January at 4am with what I described to myself as “painful bowel movements”.  I tried to go back to sleep, but I kept feeling the same uncomfortable sensation so eventually around 5am decided to get up and eat something.  Having never experienced labour at this point, I wasn’t yet convinced that this was it.  I warned Andy that I was feeling something, but decided to wait until 7am to wake him up properly in case it was all for nothing.

As time went on, the feeling was starting to become more of a period-pain like cramp rather than bowel movements, and quite frequent but irregular.  To take my mind off things I picked up my knitting, listened to my meditation MP3s and labour playlist, and also tried out some deep breathing.  I started to become more convinced something real was happening, so just in case, I began to prep and de-clutter the kitchen, turned on the fairy lights, moved the fold-out mattress and my birth ball into the kitchen, and woke up Andy with a cup of tea.  I also set my oven timer to display 0:00 so that I didn’t clock-watch throughout the day as I wanted to experience the “time-distortion” that can happen with deep meditation.

Whilst Andy finished prepping the kitchen by bringing out the pool and mats, I started to think about using the TENS machine I had bought to see what it was like and if it did anything, and told a friend of mine (who was a big fan of TENS).  Her response was “do you really need it?” – and this really caught me in my tracks.  If I tried the TENS now, would this lead to a spiralling of different types of pain management and a different direction to where I wanted to go in?  As I didn’t *need* it, I decided against trying it out and I really thank that friend for catching me there and then!

After timing the sensations I was feeling, Andy suggested we call the midwife as I was still having 3 of them in 10 minutes.  Still not really believing I was in labour, I agreed that he should call them, but tell them it’s probably nothing.  When the midwife turned up at around 10am and did the first internal examination, I was 4cm dilated! I couldn’t believe it.

The next few hours were mostly tea and chat whilst the birth pool was filled.  I continued to bounce on the birth ball or laid down during what I now knew were contractions.  I was still mostly using long inhalations and exhalations to get through them, but occasionally led by Andy who did the 3-2-1-relax-relax-relax exercise and helped me visualise blowing a feather across a lake.  I remember smiling at the end of each contraction and reminding myself that each one would be bringing my baby closer to me.

By 1.30pm I was 6cm dilated and the half-filled birth pool was starting to look enticing.  Once it was full and I got in, I immediately relaxed into it and it gave me a chance to have a breather as things slowed down for a while (as generally happens in a pool).  I also found that I now had control over when I had a contraction.  If I stayed still, I didn’t have a contraction and could relax and rest. When I decided to change position, it triggered another contraction.  I used this benefit of the pool to pace myself for a while.

I was still using long in and out breaths to breathe through contractions at this point.  My helpers had been feeding me water and fizzy Lucozade – I soon asked for the fizz to be taken out of the Lucozade as it made me burp when I was trying to breathe deeply!

Another breathing technique I used was breathing through the phrasing of the music of the tracks on my labour playlist, which had been playing quietly in the background.  My choice of tracks was based on slow, relaxing songs and music with deep personal connections to me – such as our first dance song and some of my all-time favourite tracks.  Each track made me smile for different reasons – and I remember smiling after most of my contractions.  If a part of the music I really loved came on during a contraction, I really went with it, allowed myself to get lost in the sound for a moment and breathed along with the tune.

After an hour or so in the pool, the midwife suggested I get out for a while to get things moving along again.  After having gained control over my contractions in the pool, I was reluctant to get out at first as I knew they’d start coming fast again, but I also didn’t want things to slow down to the point they stopped.  I decided to get out and got dressed, and sure enough they started up quickly again.

My next check was at 5.30pm and at this inspection I was 8cm dilated but the midwife managed to stretch me to 9cm.  My waters still hadn’t broken at this point but were bulging and ready to go any second.  I could feel the pressure myself and could feel some frustration building.  There was some talk about the midwife breaking them for me, but because they were so close, we decided to wait.  Sure enough, as I was stood by the pool, they finally gave way and the pressure and frustration subsided quickly.

After that, it was time for me to get back in the pool again and back to having control over my contractions.  I began to think about what other breathing techniques I had covered in my preparation, and remembered watching a useful video about sounds women make during labour.  I decided to try out some “mooing”, conscious that the video had explained that the deeper the noise was, the better – so I focused on trying to keep the noise I was making relaxed and deep.  I “mooed” my way through the next couple of hours through to the pushing stage.  I also had my first “urge to push” soon after getting back into the pool – it took me by surprise as my body did just take over me for a second and there was nothing I could do about it.

At around 9.30pm, the midwife explained to me the “purple line” some women have on their lower backs when they are fully dilated, and that I had a very clear one showing in the pool, so there was no need to do another internal examination or get out of the pool again.

As things progressed further and I started feeling the urge to push again, I switched to balloon breath (clenching my fist and blowing into it), which I loved as a technique and had practiced before going into labour – I liked the fact you could feel that breathing that way changed the feeling of the out-breath internally, and would help during pushing.  My body switched from letting me have control over contractions to doing what it needed to do – it told me when to push, and using balloon breath, I just had to guide it, hold it and go with it.  I spent most of my time in the pool at this point on all fours/kneeling with my arms over my side as it felt the most comfortable, though I was recommended to “squat” a couple of times to allow gravity to give a little helping hand.

I started to feel like the head was beginning to come, and the midwife was really encouraging and guiding me at this point, telling me how “open” my body was, to go with the breaths and what my body was trying to do.  She seemed to completely get what I was aiming to do with my birth and birth plan.  Andy was using the mantras “we’re going to have a baby soon” and “we get to find out if it is a boy or a girl”, and we also used another anchoring technique we’d developed where our foreheads touched and sometimes making eye contact.  It really helped me engage with him and what we were doing.

My breathing at that point was switching between balloon and deep breathing, and when I felt the stretch as the head started to come, I remember it made me gasp (like stepping on something sharp) – but I still managed to maintain control.  As the cycle of the head coming out and contracting continued, I got to a point where I could “hold” the breath and push to stop it retracting in so far again, and each contraction then made the next push and stretch a little stronger and motivated me to keep going – our baby would be here soon if I kept doing this.

As the stretch got bigger and bigger, eventually there was one more “argh” from me, and the head came out.  I was encouraged to give one more little push to get the chin out, and remember it felt like a little “pop” as it was born.  Andy remembers that seeing the head there staring out of the water was a very strange experience!  With one more big push, the baby came out and was guided straight up onto my chest and wrapped in towels in the water.

I asked the time and was surprised it was still the 10^th January, at 11.29pm – I thought I’d laboured into the next day.  At this point, I was sitting back in the pool and Andy was round me, with the baby on my left side.  We looked at each other and then I held the baby back slightly so we could see – and as we suspected (and secretly wanted, but wouldn’t admit it), he was a boy!

How calm can give you your voice.

By Sophie Fletcher

Author of Mindful Hypnobirthing Instagram @mindfulmammauk

You’re about to give birth.  How do you think you are going to be?  Quiet, noisy? What would you prefer?  To be calm on the inside but noisy on the outside, or calm on the outside but noisy on the inside?  Or perhaps you want to be both.

Birth is a primal event, it’s instinctive and powerful and sometimes unpredictable. And each one is totally unique. You may find you are quiet, but on the day you may feel you need to make noise and that is ok. In fact, both are completely normal when they are instinctive.

As a hypnobirthing teacher and doula with over 10 years experience I have seen a lot of hypnobirthers. I have seen quiet hypnobirthers, so quiet, that midwives didn’t know they were in labour, and I have seen noisy hypnobirthers, so noisy that I could hear the midwives whispering “she’s not really hypnobirthing is she?”.

Well, breaking news she is hypnobirthing.  She is vocal and active because that’s a normal instinctive birth behaviour. What she isn’t is frightened, anxious or afraid of what people might think when she roars. She may not look calm on the outside but she is in a great space internally.

True, calm may look quiet, but sometimes it looks strong and primal and noisy. Internal calm is the very antithesis of quiet – it is a woman who knows she has a voice. She is prepared, a woman who knows deep down that she can do this, whatever happens.

Calmness it’s an inner state of mind.  It’s a place where you are present, aware, connected.  A state of mind in which you can make decisions from a place of strength rather than fear. It enables women to slow down, consider and reflect, to step away from kneejerk decision making that can so often lead to regret or loss of power.

Research is beginning show how anxiety can interfere with choice-making cells in the pre-frontal cortex, the part of our brain associated with high order thinking. When anxious or desperate, we eagerly accept and apply advice, good or bad, we are less discriminating.  When you are calm internally you can make informed choices because you understand consent and can find the time and space to make the right choices for you.

Calmness is also about the external environment you choose to birth in, reducing interruptions, thinking about the things you can see, feel or hear. Hypnobirthing helps you understand the unconscious processes that go on every moment of our loves, the constant interaction between the unconscious and environment. They give you the ability to learn how to manage your own space, and to organise it in your own unique way of ‘calm’.  It encourages you to explore that aspect of yourself, and to take make the birth space your own. To be comfortable with moving things around, rather than thinking “am I allowed to move the bed”.

If you are birth partner, you may “trying to be calm” on the outside for your partner but internally be in turmoil.  You may also project your own anxieties and fears onto your partner. Your assumptions about the noises she makes, may be based on your own learned expectations of birth, and tap into your need to ‘rescue her’. Instead, mindfulness based approaches can teach you to be observant of your own feelings, to be comfortable with your own discomfort.  As a partner you will learn techniques to keep the birth space free of your own anxieties and to be a responsive but not reactive birth partner.

By learning certain aspects of your own behaviour and by understanding birth, as a birthing partner, external calmness can be a genuine reflection of your internal state and an acceptance of her experience.  Your partner will know and feel this deeply.

For all those of you about to birth, know this – calm can be internal, it can be external. Calm can be quiet, it can be noisy but most of all it is powerful and it is strong. Calm creates the space for the energy of birth to roll through, and for you to feel in control of letting go free of inhibition, free of fear and connected with the deepest part of yourself.

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A placebo is a suggestion. You are told something will make you better, so you believe that you are being offered a drug or vitamins that will improve your situation in some way.  There is overwhelming evidence that demonstrates, in different ways, how when you think you are getting better, improving physical performance, reducing pain with an intervention, or even taking a drug you know to be a placebo, your body makes actual physical changes in line with the suggestion of what that placebo is meant to do.

The chemistry in your brain changes, just because of how you think!

This means that if I were to give you a drug and tell you that it would get rid of morning sickness, but it was in fact a capsule filled with cornflour, you would more than likely see an improvement in your morning sickness.  This is not to say that you aren’t experiencing morning sickness and it’s all in your mind, what it shows is that if you are experiencing it your brain is able to make adjustments to the chemistry in your body that reduce that feeling of nausea.

Even more interesting is the power of ‘nocebo’. If I were running a randomised drug trail I would have to tell you about the side effects of the drug you were receiving even if you were receiving the placebo. Research shows that this suggestion also causes chemical changes in the brain, and that people receiving a placebo experience the side effects of the real drug.  You can read a lot more about this in Prof Irving Kirsch’s book ”The Emperor’s New Drugs”.  Kirsch used Freedom of Information to extract trials from drug companies that hadn’t been published and he dissected them, particularly in relation to antidepressants. This was the book that really helped me get to grips with the extent to which the effects of placebo were understood but hidden from us.

The programme also talked about the role of expectation in the experience of pain. If I were to tell you that something is painful, you will be more likely to experience pain even if there is none.  Evidence now also shows that how we think about pain, actually can overpower strong opiate drugs such as remifentanyl, which in some hospitals is offered through an iv in labour.  When receiving a positive suggestion, the front part of the brain becomes more active.  As an area associated with endogenous pain modulatory system, including the anterior cingulate cortex, which releases dopamine and your body’s own natural opoids.  If you are given a negative suggestion of pain or of side effects, it activates the area of your brain more associated anxiety and the increased levels of pain, the hippocampus, in particular the amygdala.  You can read more about expectation and pain here.

Pretty amazing, I think. So how does this type of suggestion relate to birth?  A great deal and sadly it’s completely under explored, trials that are set up rarely take account of the nature of hypnosis, suggestion and the subtleties of how it works, but I’ll talk about that in another blog.

First of all if you are told to expect pain, you are likely to trigger activity in the hippocampus and amygdala during birth, the part of your brain associated with anxiety and increased levels of pain. This is also known as your limbic system.

On the other hand, imagine that you have been given the positive suggestion by your doctor or midwife that birth is completely normal, that it’s perfectly manageable; perhaps  society around you told you it was just an intense pressure and it didn’t last long.  Or you were given a drug during labour and told it was an epidural, even though it wasn’t, what would happen?  I know anesthetists that have said on siting an epidural, but not administering it, women say, “oh that’s so much better, oh that’s wonderful thank you”.  I know many midwives who agree that women ring or come in complaining of stomach upset; when they are examined and told they are in active labour, their pain suddenly goes through the roof, ‘they can’t cope’ or ‘they need and epidural’.

Placebos, have given us insight into the profound changes our beliefs and expectations can make in the chemistry of our brain. Hypnosis is a vehicle where we can ethically use the power of suggestion with the full knowledge of our clients.

Preparing for birth using hypnosis, makes absolute sense, it is based on genuine contemporary research around expectation, belief and the extraordinary power of our minds to alter our experience in each and every moment.

You can read more about the power of suggestion, placebo and pain in my book ‘Mindful Hypnobirthing’ and by attending one of our Mindful Mamma classes, which show you how you can use hypnosis to create a positive experience of birth.

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Penelope’s Birth

I just wanted to share how amazing my birth experience was and I truly believe it was down to practicing hynobirthing.

I had a beautiful home water birth on 6 June, delivering our beautiful baby girl, Penelope Rose Aldridge, who weighed in at 9.11.I was 40 plus 5 when she came along. I didn’t require any pain relief, no gas and air and no stitches and I think this is due to how relaxed my body and mind was.

My waters broke at 2am, I stayed calm went back to bed, mild contractions started pretty much straight away. When I woke up I went about my day like normal – went shopping at Tesco, took the dog for a walk and to the in laws for coffee. Around 3pm contractions felt stronger, around 5pm they were less than a min apart – by 10pm I was holding my baby girl in arms! Midwives couldnt believe how quickly I dilated or how controlled I was in labour – the whole experience was so beautiful and empowering!

I’d love for other woman to be influenced by my experience!

Although I wasn’t practising regularly or completely committed in terms of ‘watering the roots of the tree’, I would fall asleep listening to the hypnobirth tracks and reading the book completely changed my perspective on birth and really helped me to feel relaxed and trust my body. My husband got so much out of attending the class as it bought him round to the idea of home birth…and now he can’t understand why anyone would want to be in a hospital! I think that’s the beauty of hypnobirthing you can do as much or as little as you like – whatever helps you change you mindset.

I guess I just wanted to say thank you for making this incredible life event a truly empowering experience!

Is it for us? And if so how can I prepare?

by Sophie Fletcher

I get asked this question a lot, “what are my views on having siblings at a birth”.  An answer to that question is almost impossible for anyone apart from a mother to answer, as only a mother knows her own child and how they may respond to the experience.  Equally important, how she will feel about having her son or daughter there? Will it relax her or will she be anxious about how they are processing the experience?

Credit: Dancia Donnelly. Birth Photographer, Minneapolis

There is little research, but of the research that exists the majority show that children respond positively to birth and even that there is a sensitive bonding period for sibling and newborn at this stage. This bonding period may be very important for longer term relationships as there is some indication that the initial reaction of older siblings to their baby sibling is a good indicator of what will transpire a year on or may even set the course of a life-long relationship.

I know many women who have had siblings at a birth and the reports are largely positive. Women say that the contractions eased and some of the most intense emotional experiences where when they were holding hands and smiling at their child.

Having your child at the birth can really help releases oxytocin. I love this quote from Danica Donnelly.

I didn’t know you could have a “favorite” contraction but my favorite one was when my 3 year old son climbed up on the bed and held my hand during the contraction and looked into my eyes and smiled at me. I can’t remember if he said anything to me but just looking at his sweet face and knowing that he was loving and supporting me and that he wasn’t scared, but rather excited for baby brother, it made that contraction so easy to get through it almost dissapeared when I looked upon that sweet face.” Danica Donnelly

You can read more about her experience here, but I love the photo above!

I also hear women say that they had planned for their child to be involved but in fact their child slept through and woke up in the morning to climb into bed with them and the new baby, or were woken up just after, or before, baby was born.   What seems to be very consistent is that the child is in the house, with a dedicated carer, grandmother/friend, and carries on with their day in a very normal way, perhaps wandering in for short periods of time, but nearly always being there at the last moments or just after baby is born.

This makes a lot of sense to me.  From a psychological perspective having a sole carer for a sibling takes any what if anxiety away from the mother, but it also maintains a consistent routine for a child during a very transitional moment for them, a time of great upheaval and change.  It also ensures that the child is still close to their mother and conveys the message “there is space for all of us”.   Imagine as a young child being an integral part of the preparation and day that your brother and sister is born, rather than your mother being taken away and then suddenly she’s in hospital with a tiny baby which everybody is cooing over.

If you are having a homebirth you can of course have as many partners as you wish, however children attending in a hospital or birth centre setting is much less common and varies significantly from country to country, hospital to hospital.

Presence at a siblings birth can normalise birth for children, something that lasts a lifetime. I hear lots of women say that being present at their sister or brothers birth created a powerful bond with their sibling, but also helped them see birth as something very normal; a powerful gift for any woman.

Here are some suggestions for preparing, but if you have any suggestions or something that you want to share please do, I’d love to hear your stories! 

Your preparations

Talk to your child and other women who have had a child at the birth

Do your research and make sure you are making the right decision for you and your child

Find a trusted friend or relative who is a dedicated carer for your child during the birth

There are several things that you can do to prepare a sibling for birth

• Read books about the arrival of a baby brother or sister
• Talk about birth being hard work and effort
• Find some videos you can watch together
• Prepare them for sounds etc

Things that they can do before the birth

• Listen to baby’s heartbeat during midwife visits
• Help blow the pool up and fill it up on trial run
• Help get snacks together for the mum, maybe baking granola bars
• Design an affirmation board (hypnobirthing mums)
• Do yoga positions with mum (if they are doing yoga)
• Spend time shortly before the birth making a birthday card for the baby
• Involve them in a blessingway (dependent on age)
• Help decorate the baby’s room

On the day (these are dependent on age)

• Go for a walk in early labour
• In early labour make a birthday cake with them
• They can help fill your drink bottle
• Perhaps be a photographer
• Help get cold cloths
• Hold your hand
• Cut the cord
• Help weigh baby
• Snuggle up with parents and baby afterwards

Websites

http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbsepoct04p178.html

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/siblings-at-birth/

Books

Hello Baby

What Baby Needs

Dear Sophie,

I would like to thank you! My baby girl is three months now and my entire family is still in disbelief! We have two gorgeous boys whose births were incredibly traumatic and my joy at discovering I was expecting again was overshadowed by my intense fear of giving birth again. I also suffered severe pnd after my youngest boy and was unable to bond with him for a long time. My antenatal visits were awful as my midwife was rushed and distracted and seemed to think I was being silly as I was already a mum. At 14 weeks I began to suffer pgp which quickly became so bad I was unable to walk unaided and life was miserable.

Still unsupported by my midwife and terrified of what lay ahead I felt alone and scared, i began to look into hypnobirthing and bought your book. I religiously listened to the MP3 tracks and adjusted my thinking accordingly.

Soon I realised I was in control of my body and my birth and felt confident I could manage the birth. When I went into labour all my fears vanished and my body took over. My husband and I arrived at the birth centre and 1hour and 13 minutes later our beautiful Belle Evangeline was born in the pool!

The wonderful Midwife there couldn’t have been more different from my antenatal one and her only concern was the pool wouldn’t be full in time and in fact I was helped in before they had finished preparing it! No panic and no pain just sensations of my baby moving down and out into my arms it was truly my most proud moment and it was all down to your book and soothing tracks.

I had been so afraid and so alone and you helped me take control so thank you again! Three months in and my baby girl is breastfeeding, healthy and the happiest little thing! And no pnd! Thank you for showing me my greatest fear could become my greatest success and joy.

 
“Giving birth is awful, just take the drugs.” Is what I was told often, unsolicited and in a variety of different ways when I was pregnant. Then when I was asked what prenatal classes I was taking and I revealed that I was taking a hypnobirthing class it was mostly met with polite interest, some genuine from people who were already interested in mindfulness but quite often barely hidden looks of incredulity and eye rolls, I was even asked who would hypnotise me in the hospital?

Before I finished work for mat leave I often had really painful stitches in my side when taking a walk on my lunch break. I’m sure there were times when I must have looked like I was in labour as I was rubbing my stomach and trying to casually lean against a lamp post waiting for it to pass. However once I started to visualise dialling down the pain and concentrating on my breathing I was able to continue walking quite comfortably.

The only way I can try to explain it is that it’s like my body knew there was a really strong sensation going on but no longer recognised it as ‘pain’ so just ignored it, this gave me a lot of confidence in the lead up to the birth.

Our baby was born at 18:42 on a Saturday in June but I knew I was going into labour the day before at 05:00, I wasn’t nervous just quite excited and started monitoring the contractions and listening to the affirmations.

When I arrived at the midwife led birthing centre at Leicester Royal Infirmary on the Saturday morning I gave the midwife my notes and preferences which explained I was taking a hypnobirthing approach and what support I would prefer. Which was as little monitoring as possible, limited chatter and not to offer pain relief unless I specifically asked for it.

The midwives were fantastic, they didn’t question it, just accepted it and let me get on with things. I have to say at this point that my boyfriend Dean was my birth partner and he was also an amazing support. I know he had some doubts about hypnobirthing, I’m sure partly due to what he’d been told about labour by those with children and partly nervousness of the unknown. But he knew what support I expected and was unwavering the whole way through.

In the birth centre Dean made sure I walked around as much as possible, I’d have been quite happy sitting on the birthing ball but walking around kept labour going at a quick pace. He encouraged me to put my headphones in while listening to the affirmations in order to stay focused and applied pressure to my lower back whenever I was having a contraction.

Later in the afternoon I was told it was time to get in the birthing pool, the contractions had been concentrated down my back and the water really helped ease the sensations. Throughout labour I found I could come in and out of my mindful zone quite easily, I could talk to Dean when I needed to and ask questions to our midwife as I found I preferred to know how I was progressing on the occasions I was assessed. Our midwife was quietly encouraging and really made feel that me and the baby were in safe hands.

Once in the birthing pool, the lights were dimmed and I had my relaxation music on, I remember looking up at one point to see where everyone was (another midwife had come in at this point should her assistance be needed) and wondered why no one was speaking and remembered it was what I’d asked for, this for some reason made me laugh and I found myself thinking don’t laugh, be serious everyone is here waiting for you to have a baby. I later found out our midwife had been regularly whispering updates to Dean, letting him know delivery was close.

Since labour began through to delivery, I took three paracetamol, although there were definitely times I felt it was hard going, it just never felt like I needed anything stronger. Dean knew when I needed a back rub and put a heat patch on my lower back to help with the back ache but other than that, much like during my lunch time walks it was like I could feel waves of very strong sensations but they just didn’t register as anything to worry about or the need to medicate for.

Within about 3-4 pushes our daughter was born, she came up through the water towards me and I all I could think was “this looks a bit odd”, not exactly the overwhelming recognition of perfection feeling I was expecting. The midwife told me shortly afterwards it was because she was born in her amniotic sac or caul which something she’d only seen once before and which Google tells me occurs in fewer than 1 in 80,000 births so maybe it was perfection after all.

The sac was quickly broken as our midwives had seen that the cord was double wrapped quite tightly under our daughters chin, I held her as they had removed it, something that must have only taken seconds but was a time that seemed to last infinitely longer.

Being the first hands she felt touch her newborn skin, and to be the first person she saw when she opened her eyes briefly to try and make sense of her new world is a privilege that overwhelms me with love and complete honour.

I chose to use the birth centre at the hospital because I was aiming for a quite low intervention labour with hopefully as little use of pain relief as possible. I wasn’t trying to be a martyr or hoping for a medal, I just wanted to do my best unaided while knowing that all the benefits of modern medicine were only a corridor away should we need them.

It turned out to be the best decision I made because after aiming for a physiological 3rd stage while our daughter took her first feed, then trying to encourage the delivery of the placenta with a dose of syntocinon and then another direct into the cord while a doctor pummelled my stomach (not too pleasant and not something gas and air did anything to help with) It was accepted that I had a retained placenta.

This meant that having gone through labour without the need for pain relief, I was now having gas and air and a full epidural but that’s just the way somethings go and fortunately didn’t affect the first couple of hours of our daughters life when myself and Dean were the only two people to hold her, ours were the only arms she was cradled in and the delivery room was our haven. At this point though it was changed to a brightly lit space allowing the anaesthetist and surgeons to swing into action, the fact that they were only a corridor away is something I will always be thankful for.

Hypnobirthing is something I recommend to every woman I know, the empowerment I still feel is not easy to explain but I know it ensured my labour and delivery experience was as stress free and dare I say it enjoyable as anyone could wish for.

Keri

Huxley’s Birth Story by Sophie Addison

On Wednesday I spent the day feeling more and more uncomfortable and went to bed feeling increasingly so.
At 12.30 ish I dreamt that my waters had gone (this was not a dream) when I woke I jumped out of bed and my waters went in a very movie style way!!

My hypnobirthing played a very important role here as adrenaline could of taken over.
I decided to take a shower and listen to some hypnobirthing tracks with the plan of going back to bed however by the time I was out my contractions were 5mins apart and the white horse birthing centre recommend I went in to be checked.
The hypnobirthing music had me in a very calm and centred place before leaving home I felt totally relaxed and serene.

On route to hospital we played the affirmations and by the time we arrived I was in a very calm mindful place.

Sophie in the second stage of labour

We arrived and were shown to the most amazing birthing room complete with pool, swing ,birthing balls and lots of space.
I was now contracting every 3 mins with increasing intensity however I remained at this stage for the next 16hours !! (My baby was back to back, which I did not know until he was delivered as I had made it very clear if anything like this was to happen do not tell me.)
I used my hypnobirthing music & affirmations to stay focused through out.
In fact when the track ended I would only speak to say to my husband to say “play the lady.” Now a joke between us.
The hypnobirthing tracks played for the full 20hrs and I am totally convinced I would of ended up with intervention if it wasn’t for my calm hypnotic state all thanks to the techniques we learnt on the course.

Eventually (16hrs) in I felt I was nearing the pushing phase and got into the pool where I delivered my healthy baby boy at 19.36 on the 23rd June.

Although it was a long labour I wouldn’t change it for anything. For me birthing my baby albeit intense at times was the most incredible experience of my life.

The skills learnt on the course and listening to the tracks throughout my pregnancy certainly got me through some tough moments. For this I can’t thank you enough.

And I never thought I would say this I can’t wait to do it again!

Birth truly is beautiful. If only all women could believe it. Sophie Addison

How I fell in love with homebirth.

By Sophie Fletcher

Homebirth wasn’t even on my radar when I had my two boys. It wasn’t given as an option, neither my midwife or my friends had mentioned it; it wasn’t something my mother or any of my 5 aunts had done. I just had no thoughts about it, bad or good.

Predictably I had both my children in hospital, and it wasn’t until my path took an unexpected turn that I found myself at a homebirth. At that time I was still training as a doula and it was only the second birth I’d attended.

Stepping into a home where a baby is to be born is a wonder and the first home birth I attended was an awakening of sorts. Here is how it was, on that night.

“When I arrive at their home, at 10pm, it is dark. I am struck by the normality of this quiet cul-de-sac in a small town, where everyone is preparing to go to bed, as they do every day, while in the home in front of me I know a baby is coming.  A pocket of something extraordinary amongst all the ordinariness. I feel as if I’ve been let in on a miraculous secret.

I am welcomed in – it feels like stepping into my grandfather’s home when I was a child, on Christmas Eve, when everyone was full of joy. When, us children would be upstairs, quietly listening out for the magic in the air, knowing that someone long awaited would soon arrive.

The mother is upstairs in a dim room, candles lit, just quietly swaying. A smile, a hand squeeze, whispers, a hug. Then a flurry as the pool is put up, the midwife on her way, a father and mother to be – without disturbance – together in their home. Their faces shine in the dim light, a sense of purpose behind the father’s movements as he makes sure everything is ready.

The midwife arrives, the kettle is on, the cake the mother baked earlier in anticipation is shared out. Baby is quietly checked, the steady pattern of the baby’s heart punctuating the stillness, whispering  “I am here, I am here”. The mother gets in the pool, she moves, sways and moans quietly.  No one tells her what to do, no one examines her.  They listen and wait as her contractions rise and fall in her body. The room, her home, her partner, her energy holds her.

She moves out of time – journeys to the stars and back – and collects her baby, embraced by the universe, and returns. Her little girl small, perfect, quietly curled against her body in the dim soft candlelight.

The placenta is born, baby is on her breast, she is snuggled up with her partner in the comfort of her own bed, cup of tea nearby in her favourite mug, radiantly bathed in a birth afterglow. A takeaway has been ordered. Everything has been cleared up, the washing machine is on.  Home life momentarily eclipsed by something extraordinary.

Three years later she will tell her little girl about her birth, and will say,” that is where you where you were born”.  And every time she looks in that room she is reminded that there is magic in the everyday, and that in a home like hers, right now, there is another woman having her baby.”

This is why I love home birth and the wonderful homebirth group I attend. Every time I go I am reminded of women, of what they can do, how they can support each other, lovingly. As time rolls on, babies are born, women move on, but the energy of the room where we hold the group still contains all their experiences and emotions. The group holds us all – whether we have a homebirth or not, we are reminded of what we are capable of, and how we are held with love.

Warm, dark, hushed, timeless, loving, graceful, powerful, comfort, family, home.  These are the words that mean birth to me.