Instagram: @sophiefletcher_author

Hypnobirthing when you are higher risk

Why does it matter if I’m higher risk?

Over the years I have taught many women that are higher risk and under the care of obstetricians.  In the UK by default this would mean more monitoring, during pregnancy, and birth. Rather than giving birth in a midwifery-led space, which is often dimmed, with a pool, ball and so on (you know those lovely spa-style birth rooms on Instagram?), the obstetric rooms are often more like how you would expect a hospital room to be. In the US and in some other countries across the world, this is often the standard approach even if you were low risk. Risk may mean an induction, more monitoring and, evidence shows, a higher rate of intervention.  This shouldn’t always be the case, and I want to invite you to explore the possibility that higher risk does not automatically mean higher intervention.

Isn’t hypnobirthing for just low-risk pregnancies?

As a perinatal hypnotherapist I prepare women for birth by working with thoughts and feelings, to enable them to work with their body, and have the best possible birth. I use a mix of mindfulness and hypnosis to explore belief and fear, and I teach practical tools to them and their partner. Hypnobirthing is about finding your voice and being confident to use your voice, not only to explore your choices but also to advocate for yourself if you feel you aren’t being listened to.  This is especially important for black and brown women who are statistically more at risk.

Many people birthing, both low and high risk, are afraid, and I see fear in nearly all these women.  The reasons may seem obvious, but it’s often more complex when there is risk. Women who are higher risk, immediately sense that their choices, and control, may be curtailed.  Some women may be fearful of hospitals and not want to birth there, some may be frightened of needles, some may be anxious about induction, or being monitored or of intervention.  Some may recognise that by being higher risk, they may have to fight harder for the type of birth they want. I even work with those who have health conditions or complications that in some hospitals deny them a pool birth or midwife in a room that is tranquil and calm. It shouldn’t but it does.

Focus on how to prepare for a positive experience

People assume that hypnobirthing is about low risk, normal birth and it is mostly – because a very high percentage of births should be low risk.  However, as we see an escalation of perceived risk in birthing, hypnobirthing becomes more important.  Yes, hypnobirthing when you are higher risk is absolutely superb for optimising your chances of normal birth, especially if you are low risk, but if you are hypnobirthing when you are higher risk it is an important way to helping you navigate a sometimes complex and unexpected journey.  My way of teaching isn’t about your perfect birth, instead I want you to be prepared to have a positive experience. 

My work focuses on values, resilience, belief, support and self-efficacy. Understanding the role of the fight or flight system in decision making is imperative and recognising when it’s fired up is crucial in helping you to regroup and take time to consider what is right for you, with the full facts.

Twice, I have worked with women who had experienced epileptic seizures in the past. Instead of talking about the type of seizures – how long ago the last one was, what their individual experience was – both were immediately put under consultant led care. In fact, stress can trigger a seizure, so optimising the birth environment is crucial. With hypnobirthing support they both took an active role in ensuring they had a positive birth.  

One woman had an induction, and a very positive experience with a good birth plan, a doula, a wonderfully compassionate midwife who rearranged the room, and a doctor who stepped back and instead sat and talked , asking lots of questions about hypnobirthing.  

Birth Story

The second is called Sophie and describes her experience here:

As a previous epilepsy sufferer, my healthcare team wanted me to be consultant led, monitored throughout labour and to use offered pain relief.

I fought, and I would use that term, with my consultant to have the option of a water birth. This was declined and I had a meeting with the midwife consultant via a birth options meeting and looking at my risk factors (which were low) she agreed to a water birth with little to no monitoring and to allow a hypnobirthing approach – something which my consultant at an earlier meeting had told me would be unlikely to work.

Come the 1st of May I was due to be induced, my midwife had thought I had been in early labour for a week or so due to stopping and starting. During these times, mostly at night, I used your techniques completely to aid me through the pains.

I was at home on the day awaiting the call from the hospital with my time to arrive. I went on a walk with my family along with a lot of pressure, ate some good food and tried to take my mind off the impending induction which I had read so much negativity about. At 12:45 I began experiencing some intense sensations, which were coming like waves. I followed the advice you gave in mindful hypnobirthing and moved to my hands and knees to cope with the building intensity and as they progressed, swaying my hips too.

I rang the midwife an hour after the first contraction had started and they told me to make my way in. This was all happening during the lockdown and so partners were not allowed into the hospital until established labour had started. I waddled alone from the car to the maternity unit with determination summoned from somewhere now unknown and after what felt like an eternity of waiting for a midwife to appear, I was examined to find I was fully dilated and could push if I wanted to. Husband was called, the pool started to fill – although midwife did warn me it probably wouldn’t be ready in time.

I moved onto all fours and twenty minutes after first arriving at the hospital, Mary was born. It was the calmest birth I have had; I was fully aware of what was going on around me, used the breathing techniques and visualizations you taught in the book and unlike my previous labours, really did come away with the superwoman feeling.

I’m still very emotional (hormonal) about it hence why this may seem like a never-ending rambling, but I really am thankful to you and your book. It made me understand my body in a completely different light and despite previous understanding, actually how much control we really do have over our pregnancy and birth.

What do you do if you are higher risk?

First take a step back. Are you able to answer these questions?

• have you asked if there are alternatives to be being induced/monitored
• did you want to go in the pool and been told “no”
• are you giving birth in a consultant led unit when you wanted to give birth in a midwife led unit? 
• did you want to do hypnobirthing and think there is no point?
• are you thinking “all my birth plans have gone out of the window”
• do you feel out of control, scared or overwhelmed?
• have you thought of a doula?

Your birth plan still matters, your values for your birth still matter.

I understand it can be hard, when things veer from normal sometimes it’s hard to know what you can do, and what you can’t. What is safe and what is not.

This is why there are brilliant senior midwives that can talk this through with you. You can ask to make an appointment and discuss your preferences, what you would like and why it’s important to you. How can they help you to make your birth as close to your values as possible, and as positive experience as possible? You will only know if you ask!

How can hypnobirthing help me do this?

Hypnobirthing when you are higher risk can help you with this by preparing you to feel strong, clearheaded, focused and very aware of what will help optimise your baby’s birth. Especially the importance of the unconscious associations you make with your environment. You may even find that the midwife teaches hypnobirthing herself, and completely understands what you want!

In the book Mindful Hypnobirthing, I talk about BRAINS as a method of asking questions, and there is also a great technique called Guiding STARR which helps you to activate your soothing system before making an important choice. Why does this matter?  When anxious and stressed we activate fight or flight, this is not a time for making decisions!  If you ever get brain fog when giving a presentation, you know what I mean.  

What next?

Never think “that’s it”, There are nearly always options. First learn about choice. There are some very helpful factsheets at Birthrights.org.uk click here to access them. You can also use the advice lines at AIMS, they have a great range of factsheets as well on their site.  

Read my book Mindful Hypnobirthing, Milli Hill’s The Positive Birth Book, spend some time focusing on what you would like for your baby’s birth, then make an appointment to discuss your preferences.

You can also do a class with a trained Mindful Hypnobirthing teacher. Find one near you. Many teachers do them both face to face and online. So whenever you are in the world you can do one! You could also start listening to a free mp3 to have a go. You can download the one from the book here.

Author of Mindful Hypnobirthing and Mindful Mamma: The First Year.

@sophiefletcher_author

Induction and hypnobirthing

There is so much fear around hypnobirthing and induction – often I read about those who have done hypnobirthing and are faced with induction for medical reasons. Comments like “Can I do hypnobirthing with an induction?”, “I can’t have my hypnobirth”,  “I’m terrified” and “all my practice has gone out of the window” are some of the things I have read over the years. But, you know can still use your hypnobirthing tools, in fact, they may be even more useful in situations like this. Remember hypnobirthing isn’t about having “a hypnobirth” it’s giving you tools to have the best possible experience whichever route your baby’s birth takes.

Today I’m going to write about induction for those of you who may be induced for medical reasons. If you are being induced for simply going over your dates I have another blog on that.

Been there done it, and supported it!

I speak from experience, I prepared using hypnobirthing AND I had an induction because of medical reasons at 32 weeks, but I still had choices in how I trod that journey and had a successful VBAC. So I know how, even in circumstances you may not have planned for, how being in the right headspace can make a difference. I always consider my birth a hypnobirth not because of how it turned out but how I FELT about it and how well that set me up for the early days of parenting.

During a birth I once supported we had a wonderful midwife who really understood the link between fear and pain. She knew how important it was for mum to be relaxed. She helped us dim the lights, move the bed and the monitor so that it was out of sight (ish) and that mum had a lot of movement around the room She blended some oils, helped us put the hypnosis music on and just set the scene beautifully.   At one point the mother was sitting on the ball bouncing and chatting while the monitor was recording regular contractions when the doctor came in to have a long chat with us as he hadn’t seen an induction like this before and wanted to understand more.

As the contractions got stronger, the dad and I helped mum focus using deep hypnosis anchors that had been strengthened in preparation for labour and massage on her lower back.  We had her moving, not always on the bed where you often see women who have been induced but on the ball, leaning over the bed. Sometimes she did rest on the bed and we did a deep hypnosis relaxation so she could collect her emotional and physical strength.

The labour was quick, and baby was born without any other intervention and mum without any need for stitches. Afterward, the midwife who did the earlier shift popped in to see the mum and sent me this message later   “I was over the moon to see she had a beautiful normal birth because I could see how the path may have been leading…with the meconium and decelerations….I went to see xxx the next day and she looked utterly radiant sitting and breastfeeding her baby.

Hypnobirthing tools are versatile.

Remember! Your hypnobirthing techniques will always come in use. Think about it, if you are frightened about an induction, fight or flight may kick in, your body may tense up and work against the induction (you should have learned all about this if you are doing hypnobirthing). On the other hand, if you are accepting of what is happening, use your techniques and work with the induction it becomes a lot easier.

It’s even more important for you to understand that if you are having an induction for medical reasons, or even when not, that keeping yourself as calm as possible and focused on your breathing, may have a positive impact on baby’s wellbeing. Make really good use of your decision tools, STARR (in Mindful Hpynobirthing) and BRAINS. This will help you navigate your choices. An induction can change, you can ask to be taken off a drip for example if you think that your own natural oxytocin has kickstarted, or you can have a pessary taken out if you think you may be over contracting. It can be good to educate yourself on induction before it begins so you are well prepared.

Preparation for an INduction

Preparation

If you have prepared mentally using hypnosis or hypnobirthing you are conditioning your body to respond positively to cues in your environment such as music, aromatherapy, touch.  This can be invaluable when there may be not much time to ‘think’.  A good hypnosis for birth course will put these in place and emphasise practice along with a birth preparation mp3.

Birth Attendants

Say you will be using hypnosis on your birth plan, very often if you have this on your plan you will be matched with the best midwife on the unit to support a birth with as little intervention as possible. The assumption is often if a mum has done hypnobirthing that she can’t do it with an induction, this isn’t true, hypnosis can be a brilliant adjunct to a higher risk birth. I can vouch for that as a hypnotherapist who is also a doula!

A strong, calm birth partner can make a huge difference. Prep your partner.  Perhaps think about a doula or someone, perhaps a friend, who doesn’t have to be there the whole time but who can come and step in to give your partner a break. Inductions can take a while.

Hypnobirthing Tools for an INduction

Keep the (natural) oxytocin up and the adrenaline down

With an induction or any other sort of intervention, the risk is that the adrenaline creeps in. Hypnosis can help you stay calm, visualisations can help increase your natural oxytocin.  Remember that the best thing you can do is to stay calm, relax your muscles and breathe deeply.  

Environment

People assume if you’ve had an induction that you’re tied to the bed, the lights and have to stay on with the monitor bleeping away.  Wrong!  With an induction take even more care over your environment, you’ll have plenty of time to move the bed, turn the lights off apart from maybe a small spotlight. Turn off the lights on the resus unit (they’ll turn these on well before baby is born if they need to), turn the sound off on the monitor and turn the screen away from you, so the midwife can see it but you aren’t tempted to keep watching. Believe me, a monitor will have everyone in the room fixated on it rather than watching and tuning into mum, so it’s good to keep it in the background as much as you can.   A baby can also have variable heart rates and be fit and well, if you are untrained every dip may seem a problem and increase fear.  Get a ball in the room and make sure the leads are long enough to move off the bed.

Put some aromatherapy oils on and play some music, ideally your hypnosis mp3s. In an induction, I find that having headphones in or over your ears can be more impactful as there may be more environmental disturbance to block out.

Keep positive

Take each moment at a time, be mindful of each contraction and how it is working for you. Birth partners should use positive suggestions all the time, especially to counter any negative suggestions that might you may hear.  Nobody can guess how a woman will dilate, how the baby will respond, what the outcome will be, take it one moment at a time and emphasise the positive.

Keep your strength up

In early labour or while waiting for the induction to be set up, while you can, make sure that you eat. Remember to keep normal routines going as much as you can. Perhaps you are waiting for a pessary or a balloon to its magic, or maybe waiting for the cannula to go in, then the drip, then waiting for the drip to begin. It can take a long time, sometimes days if a unit is busy and you are lower risk – it can be easy to lose track of how long it actually takes and to forget to eat. Keep some healthy snacks, sandwiches, and food nearby and keep hydrated.

Use your Tools Wisely

Which techniques are best?

I think distraction techniques can be great, they can be as simple as really focusing on tapping your foot to the count of 5. Your hypnosis dial or switches are brilliant if you have practiced them and long hypnosis tracks to listen to with headphones on are a great way to rest your body and mind in the earlier stages. Sometimes simply focusing on the breath “breathing in 321 and breathing out relax relax relax”, can keep you in the moment, if you feel your mind wander and your focus shifting come back to your breath. A partner encouraging you can really help.

Practice your breathing

Remember to breathe, if induction contractions are stronger really focus on taking deep breaths. If you are getting directed pushing for any reason, make sure that you take deep breaths in-between pushing. This is a great thing for your partner to do, just use suggestions like “take a nice deep breath, keep breathing, deep breaths, that’s right”.  Remember to relax your jaw and hands as much as you can during and in-between contractions in second stage.  

Skin to Skin

In an induction skin to skin, delayed cord clamping and so on are still applicable. So revaluate as you go, and still refer to your original plan.

Finally!  If one part of your plan has changed, not all of it has to. Your hypnobirthing practice should help you stay as close to your values as possible. Keep the questions flowing, use your BRAINS. Relax as much as you can and lean into the experience. You can do it!

Tip: If you are reading Mindful Hypnobirthing pop over to our Facebook group and ask other women about their experience of using hypnobirthing for an induction.

Gas and air, nitrous oxide, is almost synonymous with labour in the UK, and becoming more popular in other parts of the world. It’s a form of pain management, easy to administer and it leaves the body quickly – some people love it, some people hate it, some may use it on their own or even use it alongside other tools such as hypnosis massage and movement.  

But while the side effects are said to be minimal, no one has really explored how the drug affects the decision-making process. Why does this matter you?  Because there are studies showing that when people use gas and air it makes them more open to suggestion. It’s not dissimilar to being in a state of hypnosis -when women can also be open to suggestion.

However, unlike hypnosis for birth, and some other antenatal classes, women using just gas and air may not have done the preparation to understand the nature of suggestion, and perhaps aren’t equipped with the tools to explore the choices that are offered.

Why is this important for birth?  Because suggestion is powerful, it can’t make us do anything we don’t want to do, but it can interfere with our decision-making when the suggestions given align with intention – which for mothers is to keep their baby safe. Ultimately that’s what we want, so anything that helps us achieve that is a powerful form of suggestion, often welcomed and acted upon.

Healthcare providers are in an influential position when it comes to suggestion. Everyone from a healthcare assistant, midwife, or a doctor can wittingly or unwittingly steer you into having interventions that you may not usually have agreed to without finding more about it. The language they choose to use matters.

Suggestions can be direct or indirect for example

Direct:

“Ah your contractions have slowed. Don’t worry. Shall we just break your waters and see if that gets contractions starting again. We do it all the time, it’s very straightforward.”

With a clear head it may be easy to say this is something you don’t necessarily want unless there is a medical reason. However, think about the language used, versus what you really hear when someone says to you “don’t worry”. What do you want to do when someone cries “don’t turn around!”.  A seed of doubt sown in those words can start to play on your mind.

Indirect:

“When contractions have slowed, sometimes women have their waters broken. It can be a really great way of getting contractions going again.”

Talking about other people’s stories is a very powerful suggestion technique.  So even though the intervention hasn’t been offered the indirect suggestion is that there may be something to worry about and that the intervention will help. It also suggests other women have had this intervention and been fine. That may true, but is it the right intervention for you and your circumstances? Often the type of suggestion can prompt us to ask for the intervention without applying a decision process to it, like BRAINS* for example.

Remember, suggestion can be positive as well as negative!

Not all suggestion is negative of course! When using hypnosis or not during birth, any encouraging suggestions, gestures of kindness can be deeply beneficial.  If the people around you are aware of their language and are positive, thoughtful and careful with their words it can have a lasting effect. As a doula I’ve seen how this type of compassionate language can mean that a high-risk birth with significant intervention where a mother feels she has agency, can be a very positive experience. Positive language during moments when a choice may be offered may sound something like this

Direct:

“Your contractions have slowed, that can be completely normal, do you want me to talk to you about why that may be and what choices you have?”

Indirect:

“Contractions slowing happens for many women; sometimes they may wait, sometimes they use anything they have learned to help, sometimes they talk through their choices with us.”

What can I do about it?

The best thing you can do is to prepare yourself.  Be aware of situations that may make you vulnerable to suggestion and learn tools to ground yourself before making a choice. Take some time, perhaps just 10 or 15 minutes to reflect on all decisions whether they are suggested to you directly or, whether you feel like making a decision independently. This is especially important if there is a fairly significant deviation from your preferences.

 You can use this checklist to help ensure that you are engaged fully with the decisions that are made.

1. Use your BRAINS.  This is a widely used decision-making process. It helps you to ask questions about benefits, risks, whether there are alternatives or to explore the possibility of waiting and doing nothing.  You can download a copy from the link at the bottom of the blog.
2. Prepare your birth partner, talk to them about anything you really don’t want. This means that if your preferences seem at risk at any point during birth they can create the space to talk it through without distraction, noise or the pressure of time.
3. It can be very helpful to write down why you have made a particular decision, especially if it deviates from your plan.
4. Learn grounding techniques like the Spotlight in Mindful Hypnobirthing to help you reconnect in those moments.
5. Ask yourself if you could have 10 minutes without gas and air to think through your choices.

Further resources:

Books:

Mindful Hypnobirthing – Sophie Fletcher

Give Birth Like a Feminist – Milli Hill

Websites:

Birthrights.org.uk

Aims.org.uk

For the Brains Sheet go to  https://www.penguin.co.uk/articles/2016/mindful-hypnobirthing/

Instagram: @sophiefletcher_author

The differences in Hypnosis and mindfulness for Birth

Recently Instagram, Facebook and Twitter have been awash with hypnobirthing teachers talking about hypnosis and mindfulness for birth. Usually in the same breath. So what are you actually getting when you do a hypnobirthing course – hypnosis, or mindfulness, for birth?  Are they the same or are they different. Are they interchangeable? For anyone who understands the two, the correct answer to that question is a big resounding “NO”!

Mindful is a buzz word at the moment, and if you are not trained in hypnotherapy and understand the nuances, then yes, it may feel very similar. But it’s not.

14 years ago, as a mother who had just had children herself, and used hypnobirthing, I was curious to know about the subtle differences. First training as a hypnotherapist, I explored many different approaches to hypnosis for birth, including Mongan. None of them were for me,  so I explored different aspects of childbirth preparation –  including cognitive behavioural approaches and pure hypnosis, finally, ending up on retreat and exploring mindfulness.

The two are very different and this is why.

Hypnobirthing is based on hypnosis. Whatever people say, as a hypnotherapist, I can say with confidence that you will be hypnotised as part of hypnobirthing and you will go into a deep hypnotic relaxation if you are listening to mp3s. That’s ok, it feels incredible and contrary to what most people think, YOU are always in control.

With hypnosis, you are seeking to change a behaviour, a belief, or a feeling. If you think negatively about birth, you will learn techniques to think positively about birth. You’ll learn powerful techniques to switch sensations off, or to change them, using visualisations, imagery and language.

The most important thing to remember about hypnosis for birth, is that it’s about change.

Breathing example:  When you learn to breathe for birth, you are directed to breathe in a certain way. Usually a different way to how you usually breathe.

Mindfulness is more about connection. When you approach your baby’s birth with mindfulness you don’t try to change or alter your experience through visualisation and imagery. Instead, you bear witness to it, you notice the feeling arising in your body and pay attention to it. Instead of distracting yourself by using a hypnosis distraction technique you connect with it deeply, noticing your feelings as they arise, physically and emotionally.

The most important thing to remember about mindfulness is that you choose to notice rather than actively change.

Breathing example:  Instead of learning how to breathe in a different way, you just notice your breath. Paying attention to it. Observing where you are breathing, how you are breathing, there are no suggestions for you to experience in a way other than how it is, in that moment.

Mindfulness and Hypnosis for birth = Mindful Hypnobirthing

So how do they come together? I explore this more in my book Mindful Hypnobirthing because for me there is a very clear distinction. Hypnosis is very much about the preparation, clearing fear and anxiety. Essentially this is de-hypnotising you from how you may have been negatively conditioned, through the media.

You can also learn some really great tools, but only if you need them. Thinking you can’t birth without your tools or getting worried they won’t work defeats the purpose. The aim of a good hypnobirthing class should be to get you to a place that you know YOU can do it. Whatever happens. Not the tools, not the scripts, not the MP3s. YOU. 

Hypnosis tools are useful if for any reason you feel yourself becoming more alert, fear is creeping in or you are feeling more anxious. It can help you get back into your birthing zone. I use this image to explain this.

The truth is that every single woman, whether they have done hypnobirthing or not, has access to a mindful space during birth. Her Birthing Zone. Birth itself can be an exercise in mindfulness. Your brain and body has been honed over thousands of years for this.

When you allow yourself to let go of cultural conditioning and give birth without fear, you can access something deep within you. Something primal, strong and supremely able. You are able to open up to a flood of oxytocin and beta-endorphins. You are able to connect with and accept your strength in its loudest voice or its quietest breath, meeting your contraction waves as they rise to meet you.

You can be aware of your body, connecting with, and recognising, the shifts and transitions during birth. And the most wonderful thing? When you connect to any discomfort and really see it for what it is, something happens. It becomes more comfortable.

Mindful Hypnobirthing – Where the magic happens

When I combined the two in this way, something magical happened. Fewer women were saying they failed at hypnobirthing, and the flexibility of the tools enabled couples to adapt their plans when things change, while still feeling in control of their choices. The focus is definitely on positive experiences.

It’s empowering – rather than using tools as a crutch worried they wouldn’t work, women started to feel that they were able to do it. Sometimes a feeling of lightness is described as unconscious thoughts shift to a place of “can do”.  The course is enabling. The couples are encouraged to understand the theory of how the tools work, the evidence around self-belief and birth, and to make the practice personal to them.  True of all hypnosis, this is when it works better.

During the birth mindfulness can help you connect with your breath, your movement, your physical experiences, as you go deeper into those small moments, you become a witness to the incredible nature of your biology, your strength and your love. As you turn inwards time alters, and you unfold tenderly and powerfully in the moments between moments.

Making Choices

And this is where it can really win out. If you have a choice, if things diverge from your chosen path, there is a time for acceptance and re-assessment. Acceptance is not a passive act, it’s a very proactive choice to connect with and understand what is happening, to notice your feelings around it.

When we are shunted into something unexpected it can trigger fight or flight which means brain fog. Personally, I think pre-conditioned hypnosis tools win over here and can help you counteract this, getting you into a headspace where the fog lifts and you have clarity of thought. This then switches back into mindfulness and acceptance.  From this any decisions made, are decisions thought through, discussed, they are become decision owned and understood.

This brilliant diagram from Guinevere Webster – in the revised version of Mindful Hypnobirthing, shows how this can work.

Birth partner

Mindfulness is also brilliant for birth partners. Whether it’s bearing witness to their own feelings, exercises that help them to stay present, and learning about compassionate partnering during birth.

Know the difference!

Next time someone says that hypnobirthing is taking a mindful approach to birth, ask what the mindfulness element is. What is the philosophy behind the course and what are the differences in how mindfulness and hypnosis are taught?  Hypnosis isn’t just relaxation, neither is mindfulness and it’s definitely not hypnosis!

I wish I’d had the opportunity to explore the ways in which both could help me when I gave birth, as in my experience as a doula and teacher it unlocks something special. A connection to, and understanding of your body, that few experiences can.

You can read Mindful Hypnobirthing and Mindful Mamma to learn how hypnosis and mindfulness can help you.

Buy Mindful Hypnobirthing

Buy Mindful Mamma, the first year.

You can book a class here or read more about Mindful Hypnobirthing here.

By Sophie Fletcher

Sophie is the Author of the best selling book Mindful Hypnobirthing C0-founder of Mindful Mamma, one day mindfulness and hypnosis birth classes which are taught around the world. You can connect with her on instagram @mindfulmammauk

Today it’s World Hypnobirthing Day. That there is a day for hypnobirthing is incredible, enough people all around the world teaching this’ and benefitting from hypnosis for birth, for a global celebration.

My son is nearly 14, and it was this time 14 years ago that I was listening to my tracks every single night. There were no classes then, no online communities, no midwives who knew what it was in my local hospital. I was the weird woman who was sleeping through her contractions.

Since then, I’ve trained over 100 practitioners, I’ve taught thousands of people and written Mindful Hypnobirthing which has sold over 30,000 copies.

Mindfulness and Hypnosis – the perfect team

As a doula I’ve used it and seen it working, as a hypnotherapist I’ve used that experience to constantly improve and tighten techniques so that they work simply and powerfully.  I integrated it with mindfulness after I had my first experience on retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh…and two toddlers over 10 years ago. I love it, tell me what your fear is and I can help find a way through it in no time. Your special place? No problem. Hypnotherapy is a language to me and hypnobirthing is just one of the things I do, and love.

It’s not about birth and babies for me! 

Hypnobirthing was not about babies and birth for me though! This is not why I became a teacher, and sometimes I still think “how did I get here?”.  It surprised me, as more than everything else, hypnobirthing made me realise that I was a feminist.  Of course I was always a feminist, I just didn’t know I was. Until I was pregnant.

Growing up I ALWAYS believed that I was equal, I’d been raised to believe that I could do anything I wanted, and I believed it.  That illusion was shattered when I got pregnant – pregnancy and birth forced me to see how my place in the world was defined by my biology.

Booking appointment at the GP’s surgery? He looked at my husband and said “do you want it”, I slept walked through it all, did what I was told.  Part-time working?  I was told by my female boss not to go for a job I was qualified for, as I wouldn’t get it. My full time male colleague got it. This is when I learned that not just men, but women too,  subjugated women.

Hypnobirthing was more than a “birth technique”

What hypnobirthing showed me was how much choice is out there, it exposed the ugly truth of women being stripped of choice when they need it most.  I was so angry to discover that choices, so many choices were withheld when I had my first son. I didn’t even know they existed. The bubble had burst. It was such a violation of rights – of who I thought I was. At first my anger was everywhere, the system, and unjustifiably, myself, my own mother and my husband. How did I not see this?  Did they not see this? How did I not know?

My hypnobirthing experience was not what I would imagine you think to be the “perfect hypnobirth” (that’s a myth too by the way) but it was POWERFUL, it woke me up, I become strong, courageous, ready for the challenges of motherhood. I wanted to help other women to have this experience. I was awake!

It’s bigger than just hypnobirthing

Training as a hypnotherapist gave me the skills and the courage to do more, to go deeper into myself and to train in other ways. I wanted to explore different perspectives and approaches that could help harness internal focus, increase perspective, unleash strength and motivation.  I see so many women that are a shadow of who they could be:  teenage girls, women that are pregnant, women that have given birth, women who have been trodden down by society in their jobs and relationships, women that are moving through midlife. And I hope that through my work, I can offer them a light and key – just as I was offered one.

Hypnobirthing was my key. It was never just about birth – it was about women and helping them light their fire.

It’s hypnobirthing, but perhaps not as you as you know it.

Last year I gave a lecture with my colleague Susan to a group of midwives and student midwives at Leicester Uni.  At one point during the lecture I asked everyone to raise their hands who thought that hypnobirthing was for low risk births, a calm waterbirth at home or in a birth centre. Almost everyone put their hands up. This wasn’t a surprise, I asked the question to demonstrate how prevalent this thinking is.

Hypnobirthing is not what it used to be

This stereotype of hypnobirthing for low risk has stuck around for a long time, yet during the time is has taken for hypnobirthing to become more mainstream, it’s changed a lot.  It’s much more progressive and embraces all types of birth. It is much more adaptable – as hypnosis should be. As practitioners, we are finding that it can make a profound difference to the experience of couples – whatever type of birth they have.

When I first started out in 2004 hypnobirthing was very much focused on normal birth, and pain free birth.  It seemed that there was an all or nothing approach – and this has been a failing of a lot of the research. I still hear women say things like “I didn’t get around to the techniques, so I didn’t hypnobirth” or “I made loads of noise so I didn’t hypnobirth’ or “I had to have a caesarean so I didn’t hypnobirth – but yes it was an amazing experience”.

It’s more than the name suggests

I heard these hypnobirthing reflections so often I thought about moving away from the name hypnobirthing, but I think this is the wrong approach. Just because hypnobirthing is misunderstood shouldn’t mean we have to change its name, instead we need to raise awareness of what it really is.  The focus has often been on just epidural rates rather than the experience itself, this needs to change and the real breadth of hypnobirthing needs to be recognised. The big question shouldn’t be what does a hypnobirth look like, it should be, “How does that women who has prepared with hypnobirthing feel after the birth”.  Nor should a woman think she’s failed at hypnobirthing because she’s made an informed choice to have an epidural.

There are so many different approaches out there. Not all hypnobirthing is the same just as not all hypnotherapists work the same way. I’m weary of hearing, “original and best” – a bold claim when hypnosis for birth has been documented as early as the 19^th Century, continuing to evolve constantly as a therapy – taught by so many fantastic teachers out there teaching it in different ways with similar results.

What is it if it’s not about pain free birth?

First, it isn’t just about pain management. True, hypnosis is an incredible way to manage pain; I’ve seen people with severe chronic pain leave my general clinic free of discomfort, saying it’s better than morphine. BUT, it’s also about resilience, stress reduction, confidence, being in the right headspace to make an informed choice – it’s about knowing that whatever journey the birth takes that you can do it. It’s also about experience and making that experience as positive as it can be.  Pain relief is often associated with hypnobirthing;  this is because very often pain is what women are most fearful of, and ultimately hypnobirthing is about addressing fears, as it’s fear that hinders birth – just as it hinders so much else in our lives. Hypnosis is brilliant at getting under the surface and discovering what sits beneath a fear, changing our response to it and helping us to fulfill our potential.

And what about me? I’m high risk.

If you are higher risk (and more and more women are) you may be losing out to the low risk hypnobirthing belief. I’ve been a doula at some births that have been classed as high risk, but mothers have gone on to have births with very low levels of intervention, if any.  I’ve been at a homebirth after a caesarean, a baby born with cysts on their lungs (CCAM), both of whom were born without any intervention at all – both with thorough birth plans and great support from their midwifery teams. I would have thought if a birth is higher risk and potentially more stressful, that to learn techniques which reduce that stress on the you, your baby and your partner is a no brainer.

If you are higher risk, do your research

It also encourages you to do your research, often it takes on average 17 years for research to trickle down into working culture, so we often have to take it upon ourselves to ensure we have all the most up to date evidence.  Hypnobirthing was suggesting delayed cord clamping as an option to parents over 20 years ago!  Only in the last few years hospitals have introduced a two minute wait policy, but there is still an evidenced based campaign ongoing to “wait for white”, to wait until the cord has stopped pulsing.

Caesarean Births?

A caesarean birth? Of course you can use hypnosis and mindfulness with a caesarean birth. We actually have a private workshop set up for this and have done for a long time, we even have an mp3 set. Hypnosis and mindfulness in pregnancy reduce anxiety, helping you manage day to day stress – benefitting baby as well. Shortly before being called to theatre a simple mindfulness exercise or body and baby scan can connect you with your baby and your body in a very positive way, and in turn change the experience of birth to something very positive and woman centred.  You are birthing your baby, not having your baby delivered by a caesarean section. Hypnotherapy is a therapy of language and when a birth is higher risk then this can make an enormous difference to your choices, your ownership of your baby’s birth. It’s great for helping you if you have needle phobias, fear of sickness, hospitals or blood –  or any other specific fears that may be part of a caesarean birth.

Postnatally it can help with healing, though there is no specific research for hypnosis post caesarean, there is for other types of surgery where hypnosis speeds up the time it takes to come out of anaesthesia and to heal. Personally, I use hypnosis all the time, and had amazing results when I broke my elbow. Perhaps coincidental, but the consultant said he’d never seen one heal so fast and with full extension in the arm….who knows!

A hypnotherapist will be able to work more deeply with phobias, so I would recommend seeing a hypnotherapist who specialises in birth if you have any very specific issues like fear of sickness, needles, blood and so on.  However, on the whole simple hypnobirthing techniques can be adapted to any situation.

However, you choose birth, hypnobirthing practice in pregnancy can have a positive impact on stress reduction and baby’s development in utero.

So go out there and help spread the message, that hypnobirthing is not just about pain relief its about taking ownership of your birth, being in control and feeling as if you are able to make the best choices for your and your baby.

• It creates resilience and a deep sense of knowing you can do it

• It prepares the birth partner to be more than practical support

• It gives tools and techniques that can help in any situation, including higher risk births

• Most hypnobirthing is done during pregnancy, if you are practicing  – because of this some find they don’t need techniques or don’t have time to use them. If this is you, you’ve still hypnobirthed!

• A hypnobirther can be noisy or quiet. A good teacher will teach that it’s about being relaxed enough to express yourself the way you feel you need to in any given moment

• You can use mindful hypnobirthing to prepare for a caesarean birth

• It’s about experience not epidural rates.

• It’s all about helping you make the right choices for you and your baby

• A good experience can help you get onto stronger footing in those challenging early days of motherhood

• Mindful Hypnobirthing techniques can also be applied after birth in those early days. Click here to see our 4^th trimester pack, for those early weeks and months of becoming a new mum.

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If you hadn’t noticed, last week I started a daily 5-minute live meditation – #meditatewithme on Instagram stories. Perhaps you are starting mindfulness or hypnosis for birth or maybe you’re a new parent who wants to add some of this brain magic in to their life.  If you’ve not done this regularly it can feel a bit daunting and it’s easy to say “ I’ll start next week”, or “do it tomorrow” –  with the #meditatewithme series I wanted to show you it’s not all beaches, beautiful studios and silence but it’s about making it work in your life whatever is going on and wherever you are.  It’s also not about finding time, it’s about being in the time you have.

That time may be at work with lots of people and noise around, it may be at home with children, everywhere all the time. Those are the moments that you can hone your practice and find balance in. Really, honestly!

Where it began for me.

Let me tell you a story. Years ago I went on a retreat with Thich Nhat Hanh…and a 3 and 4 year old. Was I crazy, perhaps, a little bit naïve, maybe. It was the retreat I grew most in. There were quite a few children and so there were exercises integrated for parenting – he said that children’s noises were like birdsong to him, and that children were our greatest pleasure. They also offered us a wonderful lesson. To meditate in a quiet room is easy he said but it takes time to develop a practice with interruptions and noise.

I learned a lot about this at the first dinner.  Meals were eaten in silence, you would serve yourself then go the table where there were places, set your food down and wait until the table was full until before you began to eat. I sat down with my children and my mother, and we waited, and waited and waited. Our food grew cold. Nearly 20 people deliberately ignored us, walked past –  filling up the tables behind us. My children were quiet, and patient, waiting to eat too. But I sat there in conflict, part of me was so angry, part of me felt close to tears, part of me tried to find compassion for those who walked by and there were around 20 of them! But I stayed silent. Then a group of young people in their late teens and early 20’s came and pointedly sat down and smiled at us. It was a moment of immense joy!

What an opportunity the people who walked by missed! The practice did not fit in with them, and they choose to walk by instead of  allowing themselves to experience the practice as it was in the moment. An opportunity for kindness for growth and for connection.  These moments are moment of growth and you can be open to them. 

What is #meditatewithme?

I started #meditatewithme as I wanted you to see the reality of mindfulness. I have two teens and I often feel I’m chasing my tail, still catching up from when they were born. The house is often a bit (*cough*) messy, there are normal everyday house noises, children bickering, shouting, laughing, trampoline bouncing, my mum at the door, the dog barking, my husband swearing at the slugs munching on our three sorry strawberries in the veggie patch while I’m about to click  “go live” and unexpected calls from friends as I’m about to settle down.

Last week was a really busy week, the type of week in which my own practice slips. Most days my live ended up being toward the end of the day when I forced myself to find that time, because I knew that there were people expecting it. I had a hilarious moment with a very calming candle meditation and super loud bird timer going off, poor reception, battery about to run down just as I was about to start.

Also if the camera is facing away from me, I’ve probably got marmite smeared across my face, hair scrapped off my face and mascara still there from Saturday’s dinner (It’s Monday).  I’m probably also wearing my working from home uniform.

But….I felt so much better afterwards. When my son got out of his maths lesson and I’d done my five minutes I was so much better dealing with the fall out and when my 13 year old rang to say he’d miss his school bus, I was calm as a cucumber.

This week I started the challenge by stepping out of my comfort zone and doing a quick video in TKMaxx, yup, I did.  And in the coming weeks I want to show you other ways that you can be integrate mindfulness into your parenting, or if you are a mum-to-be who is preparing for her birth how you can fit practice in around a busy work shedule. It could be hilarious, or it could help you to see how you can integrate it more into work and home.

If you do a video, a story or a photo remember to tag me @mindfulmammauk and use the hashtage #meditate with me.

See you over on Instagram!

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Free MP3 download for Midwives

International Day of the Midwife

Happy you day!  This is a day to recognise the incredible work you do, the care you give others.  As a midwife there may be a wide range of emotions that you experience each day, joy, sadness, anxiety, happiness, relief. I can’t think of many professions where people can experience such extreme emotions in such a short space of time.

This is why it’s important for you to take time out to destress, to let things go, ground yourself. Regular practice of mindfulness or other things that allow you to really let go of the day, are vital to building resilience and preventing burn out.

We see what you do, all of the mothers whose babies are born into this world and have been cared by you say THANK YOU. Thank you for doing the best that you can each and every day. You do an incredible job and you are amazing.

This mp3 is my gift to you, for all the mothers that have said to me “my midwife was fantastic, she listened to me, and really cared, she helped me have the birth I wanted”.

Have a wonderful day and enjoy

Sophie x

Photo credit: Pexels

 Preparing for Parenthood as a Disabled Parent

Guest Blog by Ashley Taylor

disabledparents.org

Preparing for Parenthood as a Disabled Parent

The anticipation of having a new child is simultaneously exciting and terrifying. After all, you want to give your child the best life possible. And when you have a disability, your life can be even more unpredictable. Learning how to balance the responsibilities of parenthood with a disability is something that millions of people must consider each year. Just know you’re not alone, and there are many resources and options available for you.

Here are a few suggestions on important steps you need to take to prepare psychologically and emotionally, as well as some ways to make sure your home is ready for your new baby.

Find support

An important part of psychologically preparing yourself for parenthood is getting the specifics about what your child needs. One of the best (and cheapest!) resources is asking friends and family about their own experiences raising children. Conversations about routine things you need to do as a parent can help develop confidence as you visualize and make other preparations to be successful.

There are also online communities and resources that can help you adapt your unique experiences to the responsibilities of parenthood. Through these communities, you can find people with similar experiences, learn what they did, find out what works and doesn’t work, and brainstorm your own approach. This can help you develop confidence in your own abilities and can also help identify strengths that you bring to parenting.

Take advantage of leisure time

According to The New York Times, a parent’s emotional resilience impacts the emotional resilience of their children, so it’s extra important that we prepare ourselves to handle the emotional ups and downs that parenthood brings. Giving yourself some time to rest and recharge is important, so make sure that you share responsibilities with your partner or anyone else who is helping you raise your children.

According to The Atlantic, studies have shown that some parents come to enjoy and appreciate their leisure time more after they become parents. Leisure time is something everyone enjoys but maybe doesn’t always take advantage of, so don’t worry about having a perfect-looking house or getting everything done. Who knows? Maybe becoming a parent will bring you a little closer to finally writing that novel or tackling a new knitting project.

Make your home baby-ready

One big step is considering the changes you may need to make to your home. Clearly this will vary based on your particular abilities and living circumstances. Some common modifications include installing grab bars in tubs and showers to assist in bathing your children, or using nonslip rugs and mats to make sure both you and your child are safe. Go through each room in your home and visualize what you need to do. There are many online guides that can help you figure out which modifications can help.

Another resource to consider is an occupational therapist. Occupational therapists use specialized assessments to model complexities that may arise in the fulfillment of your parenting tasks. They can identify and come up with alternate solutions or methodologies that are designed for your lifestyle. Additionally, they can provide an invaluable resource for identifying and installing housing modifications that you need.

You’ve got this

Overall, there are a lot of resources to help make sure you feel confident and prepared. Whether you’re making home modifications or having important conversations about the division of caregiving responsibilities, preparing early will help make the parenting experience more manageable. You’re already making progress by searching for information and thinking about any improvements or changes you need to make. Ultimately, your unique experience and teachings will help to give your child the necessary tools to live a resilient and happy life.