This is the story of the birth of my beautiful daughter.
My husband and I had been together for 11 years and we had now reached our late 30 years and decided that we would love to try for a baby.
We had decided that we would try on our winter holiday in Mexico as it was such a special place for the both of us; we had a wonderful 2 weeks relaxing and on the way home from the airport my husband stopped and picked up a coffee, well the smell drove me crazy and I knew from that moment on I was pregnant. We were actually going to have a baby!!!
We spent the first 12 weeks planning and buying new items and planning for our baby, we didn’t want to find out if it was a boy or girl so everything was cream and neutral which gave the nursery such a calming atmosphere, we were so excited. I had already started reading lots of books and looking at alternative ways to birth and I was so determined that this was going to be a positive experience for all 3 of us.
After much research my plan was to have a Doula and to have a home water birth in a calm and relaxed atmosphere. At 22 weeks we interviewed 5 different Doula’s but after our 1st meeting with Sophie both of us knew that Sophie was perfect. She ticked all the boxes for me, she was calm and caring and also had a great knowledge of how the body works and also taught hypno birthing classes. My husband was dubious at 1st and questioned why we needed a Doula but after talking to Sophie he understood that she was there for the both of us and she would be supporting us both.
We also took the Mindful Mamma Hypno birthing course as we both were keen to learn how to have a relaxed and calm birth. The course was a full day and opened our eyes on how birth can be an enjoyable experience, we left the course feeling positive and excited about our up and coming birth.
A few months into my pregnancy I was referred to the consultant as my BMI was just slightly over the cut-off point, he said that I would need to have Diabetes test done and also have regular scans for the fear of a large baby.
So at 28 weeks I went for my diabetes test and also my Anti-d. My tests came back and I was told that I was on the boarder line of Gestational Diabetes and I would need to take my blood 5 times a day and watch my diet, which I did but after taking my bloods for over 2 weeks I had all normal readings and after doing further research I discovered that the hospital I was at had a very low cut off and if I had been at several other hospitals within my area I wouldn’t of been classed as having Gestational Diabetes, this was crazy because the hospital was wanting to induce me at 38 weeks with the fear of a large baby, but I knew that both myself and my husband’s family all birthed small babies and looking at my previous scans I was on the 10th percent line on the sizing. My husband is Indian and Indian babies are on average 300g smaller but the hospital weren’t willing to take this into account as they can’t guarantee that he was the father.
The hospital advised that I would need regular scans so I agreed to have 1 extra scan but after this scan everything changed as they were now worried that my baby was measuring small, which they feared was due to a problem with the placenta or cord so at this point I decided to pay and go and have tests done on the cord and the placenta to make sure they were healthy and guess what, they were fine. My baby girl was just small and petite and I knew so strongly that everything was fine. But the doctors needed to work to their hospital policies which would mean inducing early for fear of the placenta not working. I would never have put my life or my babies life in danger but I knew deep in my soul that my baby was well and I wanted and deserved to have the birth I’d dreamed of and going into hospital would of been over managed and would of probably ended up with intervention and drugs which I didn’t want for my precious baby just because she was a little small.
I later found out that the growth charts they were basing it on was based on a European women and baby but if they had swopped it around with my husband been the European and myself as an Indian women my baby would of been classed large.
Anyway after much thought we decided to go down the route of an Independent Midwife, she came out to the house and spent many hours with us and said she was happy to go ahead with our planned home birth and agreed that the baby was long and petite. We went and had further tests of which she was happy and so now at 37 weeks and 5 days everything was set.
So for the next couple of weeks I had peace, Sophie our Doula came up and did some release work which released all the stress we had both been through and Helen our Independent Midwife was come over every few days just to check on me. I was back on track for my peaceful relaxing birth.
So when I awoke one Monday morning with period like pains I wondered if this could be it. I had already lost part of my plug a few days before so I wasn’t sure but we both decided to stay at home just in case. By 9.30pm my contractions were stronger and closer together so my husband rang Sophie our doula to tell her and she said she was on her way.
When Sophie arrived I was in the lounge over a chair breathing through each wave, the pressure was building and I knew my baby was going to arrive soon. After a short time my husband came up and said the pool was ready so I moved slowly down stairs to my room that I had set up, it was warm and dark with candles lighting the room, I had my meditation music playing and it felt so calm and peaceful. I moved slowly into the pool and the feeling and the warmth of the water really helped with each wave. I used only the warm water and breathing as pain relief and they both worked amazingly.
I spent the next hour just riding the waves (contraction) with Sophie by my side talking me through each wave, my husband was busy keeping the pool at the correct temperature and phoning the midwife. Helen the midwife arrived at 11.30pm and by this point I was in my stride breathing through each wave, she check the babies heart beat and monitored how dilated I was from the line on my lower back. I had asked for no internals unless it was necessary as I wanted to stay in the zone and keep the oxytocin flowing and I knew that a skilled midwife can see how dilated you are by looking at the line on your lower back of which Helen did.
I had a very quick second stage of labour as I had breathed my baby all the way down using hypno birthing breathing and meditation, so everyone was very surprised when she popped out into the water bright and alert after being in second stage for only 18 minutes. I scooped her up into my arms and couldn’t believe my eyes when I realised I had a perfect little girl.
My little girl was small at 5lb 11oz but was strong, alert and perfect; my husband did skin to skin while I got out of the pool and delivered the placenta, as we knew we needed to keep her warm. We spent the next couple of hours upstairs in the lounge feeding her before we all snuggled up in bed together as a family. What amazing day it had been I had the most perfect birth and I loved every minute. I remember asking Sophie what birth was really like and she said the weirdest thing I had ever heard “I loved it and I would birth every day if I could it’s an amazing feeling”.
I now feel exactly the same both myself and my husband only wanted one child but it saddens me to think I will never go through labour again as it was the most amazing experience I have ever been through it took me to a deep place and made me realise who I am and what I am really capable of. I now know that I have spent the last 37 years working at 75% of my true potential but giving birth has allowed me to see what I am truly cable of.
My husband and I really did have an amazing birth and we thank Sophie our wonderful doula who was there all the way with us. Having a doula and using hypno birthing allowed me to have a wonderful drug free amazing and enjoyable labour and birth.
Kat and Sid and Maya