We have talked a lot about the law of attraction and the importance of a women trusting in her instincts about how and where she wants to birth. In one of their sessions, this mum to be mentioned that she had been fending off comments from colleagues at work who questioned her choices about the homebirth she wished to have by telling her “you need to be where it’s safe”, “in a hospital surrounded by professionals.” She turned to them and said” But I am a professional”!
Brilliant. And of course she’s right. Women are 100% qualified for the job of giving birth! A woman giving birth, can tune into her body, is able to instinctively move to help her baby’s journey and will often know what she or the baby needs. Just listening to that inner voice, the subconscious, allows the mother to let go consciously and for instinct to take over.
Control is often an issue that come up in classes when we talk about letting go, but it’s not about losing control. There is no doubt that people come to our classes because they want to feel in control, it’s obvious to us that there is a real issue around losing control, whether it’s the birthing mother thinking that she will lose control of herself or either the mother or her partner’s fear of losing control to medical teams over the course of the birth.
This is interesting to us, because it demonstrates the sense of threat that is triggered by the instinctive need to be in control, to be alert, armed and aware. This threat is actually the one thing that really can inhibit the process of birth as it keeps the conscious mind, engaged and alert when really it should be slumbering. It’s also a response that is triggered by the need to protect the baby and suggests “If I am not in control of the situation how can I protect my baby”.
What our classes teach you is how to become more consciously aware of what those threats are prior to the birth and to build the confidence of you and your birthing partner. They also teach that control is paradoxically about allowing yourself to let go. Every woman in the birthing room chooses whether she can give herself over the birthing body, but when she does give herself over to the birthing body, who is in control? Yes, she is of course!
Trusting that the subconscious contains everything you need to birth gently, and that the conscious mind, the logical mind, has been allowed to just drift off for a while is about feeling secure in your knowledge of the birth process and the belief that you know how to birth.
Remember, every woman births differently and you are the absolute professional when it comes to your birth!