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Why the Fuss About Birth and not about the baby?

antenatal class· birth· confidence· From mindfulmamma· Mindful Birth· mindfulness

28 Feb

Babies need to be water with love and patience.

 Why the fuss about birth and not the baby? 

By Sophie Fletcher

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept is as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.” 

Eckhart Tolle

Recently I was reminded by a friend about the bigger picture.  She said birth is just a small part of the journey we experience as pregnant women. The much bigger part of the experience is what comes after – motherhood. She wondered why women are so focused on the actual birth rather than their baby and suggested that this preoccupation with birth prevents a woman from wholly preparing to be a mother, connecting with her baby on their journey.

There is no doubt that the focus has shifted from having a baby, and the baby themselves, to how the women are going to manage the birth, get the right pushchair, finish the nursery, perhaps moving house (surprisingly common!) or how long their maternity leave is going to be.   In our Mindful Mamma classes at the beginning we ask everyone to spontaneously write on a note the first word that springs to mind when you think of birth, very often baby isn’t in the mix, instead words like pain, control, blood, long and hard work float to the surface from fears harbored in the unconscious.

But the truth of it is that from conception to birth to motherhood is a life creating, life changing, daunting, challenging and absobloodylutely incredible journey. Birth is just a moment, an intense moment, of a period in your life that will bring you highs and lows, tears and laughter, fear and joy.   There is nothing more frightening than a baby making their first wobbly steps near your mother-in-law’s granite fireplace and nothing more wonderful than your baby’s chubby arms loosely clasped around your neck as they fall asleep rhythmically breathing into your ear.   But we don’t dwell on any of these before they happen, we experience those moments as they happen and enjoy them or manage them skillfully in the moment.

Imagine conception as the planting of a seed, the seed growing beneath the surface nurtured by the soil, out of sight but watched expectantly until it breaks through the surface.  The plant continues to grow but from this moment is reliant on the water and sunlight to grow and blossom.   Just as this plant needs water and sunlight your baby needs your love, care and gentle compassion to nourish their emotional well-being and growth.

Motherhood can be a wonderful thing and it can also be a mirror of birth in terms of the emotions.  There is fear, there is sometimes that sense of losing control, and there is joy, happiness, the worry of not knowing what is the right way and wrong way to do it.

Birth is just the beginning, and just like motherhood you can choose to get on and do it and do it your way, intuitively with love, strength and patience.   Your baby’s journey into this world begins at birth, just as your journey into motherhood begins and your partner’s journey into fatherhood begins.

So allow yourself to become aware in this moment of your baby, the core of your being, your connection with each other and how you are moving forward together hand in hand on a new, exciting and eventful journey that will last long after the birth.

Prior to the birth, allow yourself the time to reflect on what type of teacher you want to be, how you want your baby to learn. Being mindful of that responsibility, reflecting and welcoming that role will in turn strengthen and prepare you the birth – the moment that your journey begin and the moment that your flower nudges through the soil and begins to grow into a beautiful blossom cared for and loved by you.

 

 

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Testimonials

01

“The course was brilliant, although we were somewhat sceptical beforehand it was great experience, and a super day to share together our expectations and needs.”

2018-10-10T15:58:21+00:00
“The course was brilliant, although we were somewhat sceptical beforehand it was great experience, and a super day to share together our expectations and needs.”
https://www.mindfulmamma.co.uk/testimonials/01/

02

“I’m looking forward to my birth experience and left the venue with a smile on my face and a bounce in my stride. This Course should be standard for every pregnant mother and her birth partner.”

2018-10-10T16:06:37+00:00
“I’m looking forward to my birth experience and left the venue with a smile on my face and a bounce in my stride. This Course should be standard for every pregnant mother and her birth partner.”
https://www.mindfulmamma.co.uk/testimonials/02/

03

“Thanks for a brilliant class. I feel so much more relaxed about the whole thing and as a lovely bonus am now sleeping at night (after practising with the CD). Feel like a different person.”

2018-10-10T16:08:44+00:00
“Thanks for a brilliant class. I feel so much more relaxed about the whole thing and as a lovely bonus am now sleeping at night (after practising with the CD). Feel like a different person.”
https://www.mindfulmamma.co.uk/testimonials/03/

01

“I just wanted to say thank you, for such an interesting relaxing and empowering day. Both Martin and I really enjoyed it, and he’s got just what I hoped he would out of it – some confidence in his own abilities as a husband, supporter, advocate and future Dad!”
2018-10-30T17:01:06+00:00
“I just wanted to say thank you, for such an interesting relaxing and empowering day. Both Martin and I really enjoyed it, and he’s got just what I hoped he would out of it – some confidence in his own abilities as a husband, supporter, advocate and future Dad!”
https://www.mindfulmamma.co.uk/testimonials/01-2/

02

“I just wanted to drop you an email to thank you for the fantastic course on Saturday. We have talked about almost nothing else since we left your home and both feel that we have gained so much from it.”
2018-10-30T17:01:30+00:00
“I just wanted to drop you an email to thank you for the fantastic course on Saturday. We have talked about almost nothing else since we left your home and both feel that we have gained so much from it.”
https://www.mindfulmamma.co.uk/testimonials/02-2/

03

“I came in with a very sceptical husband who was telling his mates on Saturday night how fantastic the course was and giving tips to those who are going to be Dads later in the year.
We also learned so many simple things that we wouldn’t have even thought about before like the fact that I find it so much easier to relax when Mike is touching me.”
2018-10-30T17:01:51+00:00
“I came in with a very sceptical husband who was telling his mates on Saturday night how fantastic the course was and giving tips to those who are going to be Dads later in the year. We also learned so many simple things that we wouldn’t have even thought about before like the fact that I find it so much easier to relax when Mike is touching me.”
https://www.mindfulmamma.co.uk/testimonials/03-2/

04

“I would just like to commend you on designing and running such a really fantastic course! It really has empowered both of us,to the point where most of our fears about birth have disappeared already. We have always wanted to go down the natural birth route, but felt that there was not enough support & advice out there about how to do it drug and pain free. Your course, although short, covered pretty much all aspects that I felt were missing from our antenatal classes & many more. Vic now feels a lot more confidant, and I actually feel like I have a proper role in the whole event, other that driving her to the hospital & sitting on the rocking chair! “
2018-10-30T17:02:13+00:00
“I would just like to commend you on designing and running such a really fantastic course! It really has empowered both of us,to the point where most of our fears about birth have disappeared already. We have always wanted to go down the natural birth route, but felt that there was not enough support & advice out there about how to do it drug and pain free. Your course, although short, covered pretty much all aspects that I felt were missing from our antenatal classes & many more. Vic now feels a lot more confidant, and I actually feel like I have a proper role in the whole event, other that driving her to the hospital & sitting on the rocking chair! “
https://www.mindfulmamma.co.uk/testimonials/04/

05

“I did really enjoy the course yesterday and I am definitely feeling much more positive, I was surprised actually by how much Luke and I talked about the course immediately after and the impact it has had on Luke, We both feel like he is more involved now and that he has got an invaluable role to play!”
2018-10-30T17:02:38+00:00
“I did really enjoy the course yesterday and I am definitely feeling much more positive, I was surprised actually by how much Luke and I talked about the course immediately after and the impact it has had on Luke, We both feel like he is more involved now and that he has got an invaluable role to play!”
https://www.mindfulmamma.co.uk/testimonials/05/
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